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What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

What We Call "People Pleasing" Might Really Be Something Else

What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

Parenting, Kids & Family, Comedy

4.6962 Ratings

🗓️ 26 February 2025

⏱️ 44 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

"People pleaser" is usually both a gendered and pejorative term. Some people really do love taking on the lion's share of work in a given situation. Some people do it but are secretly resentful that they always have to spearhead endless event planning, committees, and get togethers. Here's what "people pleasing" really means and how to unwind yourself from it if it's getting to be too much. Amy and Margaret discuss: The actual definition of people pleasing versus how it's commonly used Demand sensitivity and how it relates to people-pleasing How to differentiate between people-pleasing and altruism Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Gary Trosclair for The Healthy Compulsive Project: What, Exactly, Do They Want From You? How The Demand Sensitivity Lens Mucks Up Our Lives Nick North on YouTube: How We Avoid Stupid Fights - the Number System Reddit: The Term "People Pleaser" Allyson Chiu for the Washington Post: How to Know If You're a People-Pleaser and What to Do About It We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson. mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, parental stress, kids stress, gender roles, gender equity, gender stereotypes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Being a people pleaser, if those people are my children, is my full-time job.

0:06.5

What fresh hell.

0:08.2

Laughing in the face of motherhood.

0:10.2

You just want this to be over and sometimes you smile even though you don't want to.

0:13.9

With Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.

0:16.3

The email about the bridesmaid stresses is one of 4,000 thoughts of the day that someone had,

0:21.3

a podcast that solves today's parenting dilemmas so you don't have to.

0:25.7

Everything that everybody asks you to do is equally important to everything else.

0:29.0

Everybody has asked you to do.

0:31.3

Hello, everyone, and welcome to What Fresh Hell, laughing in the face of motherhood.

0:35.6

This is Margaret.

0:36.4

And this is Amy.

0:37.3

Today, I want to talk

0:39.0

about something else that has come up over and over again as I've been doing the book tour and

0:45.4

all the interviews for Happy to Help, Adventures of a People Pleaser. I don't know if you've heard of it.

0:49.8

It's a new book. You should get it. You should have it. By me. You have it already. It's dog-eared. But the

0:56.4

subtitle of the book is Adventures of a People Pleaser. And I'm just going to say subtitles of books

1:01.4

are group decisions. They are not, just like titles of articles and magazines and newspapers,

1:06.5

the reporter doesn't write them. Titles and subtitles of books are very much a group decision.

1:10.8

And so people

1:11.3

pleasers on the cover of my book. And it is something that is therefore very much a part of every

1:16.1

conversation is like, how do you stop being such a people pleaser all the time? And I've come to have

...

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