What to Do When Your Partner Shuts Down

Jillian on Love

QCODE Media

Mental Health, Sexuality, Health & Fitness, Relationships, Society & Culture

4.9 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 5 May 2025

⏱️ 31 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

As part of Mental Health Awareness Month, this episode explores one of the most destabilizing relationship dynamics: when a partner shuts down during conflict. Jillian coaches a listener through the emotional toll of being avoided and unpacks how this behavior impacts your mental health, sense of safety, and self-worth. With guidance on emotional regulation, accountability, and what it really takes to break unhealthy cycles, this conversation is a powerful reminder that protecting your peace starts from within. Join my community and membership, The Conscious Woman. Record and submit your relationship question for Jillian at https://askjillian.com/ Order Jillian's NEW book It Begins with You: The 9 Hard Truths About Love That Will Change Your Life at https://www.jillianturecki.com/book ~~ Follow the show on: Instagram: @jillianonlove Email the show at [email protected] Subscribe to Jillian on Love+ on Apple Podcasts or Patreon ~~ Follow Jillian Turecki on: Instagram: @jillianturecki TikTok: @jillian.turecki X: @JillianTurecki Visit her website at jillianturecki.com ~~ Jillian On Love is brought to you by QCODE. To advertise on the show, contact us! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi there, it's Jillian, and I want to tell you about Jillian on Love Plus, your way to get even more
0:06.3	Jillian on love each week by subscribing on Apple Podcasts or Patreon. You can access exclusive bonus
0:13.4	episodes with extras, including ad-free listening, answers to your most burning questions,
0:20.0	advice on all things dating and relationships,
0:22.8	and much more. Check out the link in the episode description for more information.
0:33.3	One of the most frustrating experiences that we can have is to be in a relationship with someone
0:41.7	who always shuts down when there's any problem.
0:48.0	And it's just, you don't even have to be anxiously attached to to have that be a problem.
0:55.8	It's just it's just a problem in general when whenever there's a problem or whenever we bring
1:00.2	something up to them, they kind of pull away and then we don't know what they're feeling or what
1:07.0	they're thinking.
1:07.8	And then we think the problem is me.
1:10.0	And then we start and then we start to get anxious regardless of our attachment style.
1:14.2	And then we think, you know, how can I get through to this person?
1:20.5	And then maybe a day goes by or a couple of days go by and then things kind of return to normal and things are good.
1:27.2	But then you want to bring something up to them again. But you know that if you do. couple of days go by and then things kind of return to normal and things are good, but then
1:27.8	you want to bring something up to them again, but you know that if you do, that they're going
1:32.3	to shut down, then there isn't going to be a productive, productive conversation. It's absolutely
1:39.1	maddening. And I always say you can't build a relationship with someone who's always pulling away
1:47.2	because communication and being able to work through problems is the most important thing.
1:53.2	If you're going to be in a relationship with anyone, there's guaranteed going to be conflict
1:58.4	and it's how you repair that changes everything.
	...

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