Hi, today we're going to talk about what happens when they start getting mean.

This is a really common issue.

If our loved ones start with embarrassing behavior or even worse, abusive behavior,

what do we do?

Well, the most helpful thing we can do is to remove ourselves from the situation and retreat to a safe space.

One of the core beliefs that we have at Love Over Addiction is that addiction is like a third party in our relationships.

We view addiction as a separate entity from our loved ones.

This helps us with forgiveness

and to process why we love someone who can be so cruel

and self-destructive.

So when they start being rude or nasty or mean,

that's the addiction trying to beat us.

Addiction craves conflict and control.

We don't need to stand there and take it,

but we also don't need to take the bait.

Instead, we can remove ourselves from the situation, or we can try. There was a time

when I was in the car with my ex-husband headed to dinner, I was six months pregnant, and he was in a very nasty mood, and I know what you know what I'm talking about. They just try to start a fight. You can tell with the tone in their voice. And I remember thinking, I am trapped. I can't go anywhere. I can't remove myself from the situation.

Do I just have to sit here and take this?

What's going to happen at dinner?

How is this night going to go down?

So what did I do?

We were there at a red light. So I opened the door and got out of the car.

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