What To Do When Families Become Estranged [Re-Release]
18Forty Podcast
18Forty
4.7 • 704 Ratings
🗓️ 25 November 2025
⏱️ 110 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In 2023, we talked to psychologist Dr. Joshua Coleman, about the nuances of familial estrangement and reconciliation.
We also heard from mindset coach Jason Blau and translator Izzy Posen about how these issues play out within the Jewish community. In this episode we discuss:
- What strategies can be employed by families carrying the burden of strife and negativity?
- What are the common triggers of family estrangement, and how can those in strained relationships move forward?
- What is the role of family in a world of optionality?
Interview with Joshua Coleman begins at 8:54.
Interview with Jason Blau begins at 54:42.
Interview with Izzy Posen begins at 1:15:42.
Dr. Joshua Coleman is a psychologist in private practice and a Senior Fellow with the Council on Contemporary Families, an organization of sociologists, historians, psychologists and demographers dedicated to providing the public with the latest research and best practice findings about American families. He has written for The New York Times, The Atlantic, and other publications, and often speaks on television about issues of estrangement, relationships, and families. Dr. Coleman also writes music for television which has been used on many shows.
References:
“Of Ghosts and Ancestors” by Ari Berman
“The Power of Vulnerability” by Brené Brown
Where to Draw the Line: How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day by Anne Katherine
Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet Lerner
The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships by Harriet Lerner
Rules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties and How to Heal the Conflict by Joshua Coleman
When Parents Hurt: Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don't Get Along by Joshua Coleman
“The Family Reunion” by Izzy Posen
Genesis 46
“הַמַּלְאָךְ" by Izzy Posen
"Daddy Come Home" by The Yeshiva Boys Choir
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Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Hello and welcome to the 1840 podcasts where each month we explore a different topic balancing modern sensibilities with traditional sensitivities to give you new approaches to timeless Jewish ideas. |
| 0:18.0 | I'm your host, David Bischofkin and this month we're exploring Teshuvra. |
| 0:21.9 | Thank you so much to our series sponsors, Daniel and Miris Stokar. I am so grateful for your |
| 0:27.8 | friendship and support. And thank you so much to our episode sponsor, Dr. Leia Younger. |
| 0:34.7 | Aside from sponsoring this episode, Dr. Younger was an integral part of putting |
| 0:39.3 | this episode together, connecting me with some of our guests, top psychologists in the field. |
| 0:44.5 | She herself is a psychologist and has a practice known as Younger Psychology. |
| 0:48.8 | And her sponsorship is, of course, dedicated to educated, provide guidance, support, |
| 0:53.7 | and Zochus for all those affected |
| 0:55.6 | personally and as professionals by any sort of difficulty, brokenness, mental health. |
| 1:01.3 | And I am so grateful for her guidance, friendship, support, somebody who I didn't know, |
| 1:05.7 | reached out, a friend of 1840. |
| 1:07.6 | Thank you so much for dedicating this episode. |
| 1:10.6 | This podcast is part of a larger exploration |
| 1:13.2 | of those big, juicy, Jewish ideas. So be sure to check out 1840.org. That's 1-8-F-R-T-Y-Y dot |
| 1:21.0 | where you can also find videos, articles, recommended readings, and weekly emails. |
| 1:26.0 | There is a fascinating article that was shown to me by |
| 1:30.4 | Rabbi Dr. Ari Berman, who's the president of Yeshiva University. He wrote an article about this, |
| 1:35.6 | I think a while back in Waius like Torah to go. It was an eye-opening article. It is called |
| 1:40.6 | From Ghosts to Ancestors, the Psychoanalytic Vision of Hans Lowell. I've never heard of |
| 1:47.1 | Hans Lowell before. The article is written by somebody named Stephen Mitchell. And it is a fascinating |
| 1:51.8 | article by the way that we relate to our own past. Each one of us has a past. We have parents, |
... |
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