Pastor J.D. addresses some common misconceptions about male leadership and explains the Bible’s plan for it in relationships, the home, and life.

A glimpse inside this episode:

There are a number of reasons someone might find the idea of male leadership difficult:

* Perhaps there is a history of abuse, which changes how male leadership looks and feels.
* Feel like it is archaic: strong dominated the weak.
* More practical, perhaps a mother is raising children without the father around.

So why, with all of the potential problems, do we say that God’s design in the home is for men to lead?

Ephesians 5:23, the Bible calls the husband to be the head of the wife and the wife to submit to the husband like Christ submitted to the church.

* Headship is not a designation of the husband’s greater value (egalitarians Galatians 3:28 vs. complementarians 1 Timothy 2--both are important, but of his specific role and responsibility).

* Starts with mutual submission:
* In fact, greater submission in that sense is mine. I should lose 95% of all arguments in my home.

* Look not on my own interests
* To serve rather than be served


* Crown is one of thorns.
* I am a tie-breaker.

* Tim Keller: Moving to NYC example. He felt yes; she no. They had to make a decision; to not make one would be, functionally, to make one. He conceded: “OK, if you don’t want to go, we won’t go.” Kathy: No, you are letting me make the decision. You have to make it. Submission means man has to make the decision in the best interest of the family.

* The number of times this has actually happened in my marriage, I could count on one hand.
* People who say, “Well, just work it out.” That doesn’t work practically. Somebody ends up submitting.
* Like a dance: somebody leads.
* If two people are dancing face to face, they cannot do exactly the same thing without running into each other and ending the dance. The movements cannot be identical and equivalent; they have to be complementary and harmonious.







The creation account in Genesis 1–2 (particularly 2:5–23) provides more detail about the nature of the husband’s headship. In that text, we see God giving Adam a share of his authority by commissioning him to cultivate the Garden of Eden and name the animals (Genesis 2:15, 19–20). This provides a template by which we can understand the leadership that men should demonstrate in the home.

* Husbands should lead in provision, as Adam was given a job prior to his marriage to Eve (Genesis 2:15).
* Husbands should lead in spiritual growth, as Adam both had a relationship with God and had heard God’s words before Eve was brought to him (Genesis 2:16, 18).
* Husbands should lead in romance, since, as the text notes, it is the man who is to leave his family in order to cleave to his wife (Genesis 2:24). It is also the man that writes the first romantic poem for his wife, not vice versa (Genesis 2:23).
* Husbands should lead in protection, as Adam and Eve are referred to as “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). Paul picks up this imagery to remind husbands that they are responsible to love their wives “as their own bodies,” protecting them as they would their very selves (Ephesians 5:28).
* God did not make us exactly the same.

* Not good
* Edzer kenegdo: a different one of the same kind



A great deal of resistance arises from core misconceptions about the concept itself. We reject the following misconceptions of submission as false and unbiblical:

* The misconception that women, as a group, are to submit to men. The virtue of submission,