Welcome to the Total Soccer show and our latest foray into the listener questions mailbag.

On this episode, we're proposing World Cup player trades.

We're putting Southampton in Syria.

Sure.

We're localising the Club World Cup and much, much more.

My name's Ryan Bailey.

Joining me today, it's your friend, it's my friend, the Taylor Rock. Oh, hello, Taylor. Hello, Ryan Bailey. It's lovely to see you. I enjoyed our recap of all of the different methods of transportation. You've taken in the last 24 hours to be where you are, where there is. Internet that will work. We'll find out. Mmm, remains to be seen during this episode, Taylor, but yes, I'm back on the mainland of the United Kingdom, having traveled planes, trains, and automobile. John Candy made it much funnier than it was in real life. I'll tell you that. At what point, so you did one, two, three, four, five, six different methods of conveyance. At what point were you annoyed and was it at number one?

Yes, okay, you're going to make me listen now.

Okay, so to get off of Wickham Island where I was staying...

Cannibalism Island.

Yeah, goodness me.

A bike, a small electric bus, a small boat to get between islands, a big ferry to get to the

mainland, a coach, and then a car, a rental car. It was a full day of travel to travel across

a very small country. And did you have to actually go through that process, Ryan? Or was there like a kind of Wes Anderson style montage, like a tweee montage that you could speed the whole thing up? Yeah. South Park told me that things go quicker with the montage. Or was that World Police? It was Team America World Police. Sorry. It was indeed. I do, Graham, to your point, I picture Ryan, it's a montage hard cut each time of Ryan's sipping tea on each

different conveyance. So it's him riding a bike while sipping tea with like some sort of

cravat on and then it's him on the bus, sipping tea all the way through. It's a very formal

montage. They had to cut the finicular railway at the end, but they filmed it. They can use it later.

Yeah. You know the Bill Murray's cameo they can use it later yeah you know the bill

murray's came you just don't know where and graham ruffman's here hello graham hello ryan yes

i'm relieved that you are back on plague island mainland off cannibalism cannibalism island it's

good to have you back thanks appreciate it it's very warm and there's no air conditioning, Graham.

It's a struggle that I know you. Don't talk about it, though. The Americans will get annoyed. They'll get annoyed at this. Speaking of one, Joe Lowry's here. Hello, Joe. It's 75 degrees. I'm roasting. It's good to be here, guys. Ryan, this whole time, I thought you were on Love Island. That's where I thought you were, and that's why you couldn't show yourself.

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