What's the craziest reason you've had to fire an employee?

Employee 1 wearing earplugs on a string.

Employee 2 comes up behind Employee 1 and decides to yank on the string, which pulls earplugs out of ears very fast.

This causes a vacuum in the ear canal and effectively pops your eardrums outward.

It hurts real bad.

Employee 1 got mad, yelled, and possibly cussed employee

two. Employee two decides he doesn't like employee one's attitude about the situation. Employee two,

who's an amateur boxer, punches one to lay him out on the floor. Employee two is a marvelous

piece of work. All that amateur boxing must have knocked the sense right out of his

head. Before this incident, employee two graced me with a conversation. Why he felt the need to say

these things to me, I don't know. Maybe this lends legitimacy to the theory that he had the sense

knocked out of his head. I think it just gives insight into a crappy human. Employee too was married

and had a newborn or toddler.

Apparently, his underage teen niece would babysit with another friend keeping company.

Employee two indicated he thought both teens were hot and had a number of ideas about them

that were extremely inappropriate. He slashed my tire after I told him to go to work instead of sitting in the break room.

He obviously didn't want to go back to work, so I think you did him a favor.

I gave my secretary a document that I wanted incorporated into a letter I had written,

and she hucked the document like a frisbee into her trash can.

It was literally my only copy, so I had to walk over and fish it out. That was her last day.

What the frick? Man, you must have more stories. How did she interview? She was already there when I

started. She worked for someone else but had problems with that person, so they tried putting her

...