What's the stupidest defense you've seen someone make in court?

As a public defender, you're thrown into a lot of crappy cases with little hope of winning

and with very little time to win them in. My approach was to make any argument within the

ethical rules that govern attorneys, which led me to a hilarious court appearance. My client was

charged with possession of Mary Jay, you know, green herb,

a misdemeanor first offence that carries no jail time in my state. Client and his friend were

smoking in a park, some citizen reported it to the police, and the cops come and find them in

their car after smoking. My client admits to the cop that he was smoking. Obviously, I'm thinking

he's got no defense here. The other guy admits to smoking cop that he was smoking. Obviously, I'm thinking he's got no

defense here. The other guy admits to smoking and gives the police the stuff and pipe from his

backpack. The entirety of the evidence was the admission and the physical evidence. So I argue at

trial, bench trial with no jury, with zero expectation of winning, that the state failed to prove

my client ever possessed the Mary J in the first place. Your Honor, for all we know, the other guy at all times had possession

of the Mary Jay. For all we know, he held the pipe to my client's lips and lit it for him.

A discussion amongst myself, the judge and the prosecutor ensued about whether you can

smoke green herb and not be in possession of it. I got the decision

a few months later. Not guilty. The judge asked, why are you late? The defendant replied,

My mom didn't wake me up. How old are you? 42. A story from driver's ed. Guy was in court

for killing two relatively young people while drunk. The defendant's lawyer

claimed that the teens should be at fault because this man was drunk and they were sober.

They should have had the reaction time to get out of the way. Pretty stupid defense, but in terms

of the worst defense, nothing beats that. Absolutely morally appalling. A guy was in court for a

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