What's the most cringe-worthy way? Someone has tried to show you they were quirky.

I had a co-worker in a retail environment who was always going on to us about how special he was

and how he saw the world differently than the rest of us, slobs, because he was a writer.

Customer with lazy eye comes up to the register.

Co-worker to customer, hey, I see you've got a lazy eye.

I notice things like that because I'm a writer.

Super awkward checkout ensued.

I noticed things like that because I'm a writer.

I couldn't help but read that in Ralph Wiggum's voice.

My uncles are both published writers.

One of them is the most humble guy you could ever meet.

The other is so fricking egotistical. I mean, he's clever and very smart, but he makes everything

about himself. He can't stand to be wrong. He practically had a fit when my 15-year-old brother

beat him in a pull-up contest, and he's like in his late 50s. He doesn't wear glasses despite

really needing them,

because he doesn't want to look old. Regularly almost crashes and puts his children at real

risk because of his vanity. I knew a girl in high school who used to diagnose herself with

mental illness based on, to the best of my knowledge, Year 11 psychology class and online quizzes.

She would also try to one up anyone who had a legitimate, medically diagnosed mental illness. Despite having, in her words,

major depression, anxiety, OCD, bulimia, Manchausen's, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder,

and antisocial personality disorder, she refused point-blank to ever see a doctor

and have any one of these diagnoses confirmed or treated. If you're going to fake mental illness,

...