Reddit, what's the best rumor you've ever heard about yourself?

Not me, but a dude I was in high school with apparently died in a motorcycle accident.

Goodbye post for him flooded my Facebook feed.

Days later, we found out he was just playing pool somewhere and had no internet connection.

Must have been hilarious for him.

After just two days of eighth grade, I had

E. coli that landed me in ICU for six weeks. The rumors spread like crazy about what happened.

Some said I was poisoned. Others thought I had stomach cancer. At the varsity football game,

the announcer asked for prayers as he told everyone I wasn't expected to make

it through the night. No doubt I was really sick, but my favorite was that I was airlifted

to Florida for a stomach transplant. Since no human stomachs were available, it was a cow's stomach

that will be transplanted. The best part about that is, if the first one didn't work, they have three

more chances.

A few years ago, I volunteered in a desolate little village way up in the northwest corner of Georgia,

the country. Then, as now, I was a brown-haired, blue-eyed, ginger-bearded, translucent-skinned Irish-American. After six months of teaching, I left the village for a week or two of summer vacation.

By the time I'd returned, a rumor had spread among the villagers that I was actually black.

Dato told me that you are black.

Okay.

Well, who told Dato that?

He just said he heard it around.

All right, but look at me. How am I black?

I don't know. They say that you are black, but you're lying about it. This went on for a month or two.

...