What's My Conflict Language?

ShrinkChicks

Jennifer Chaiken, LMFT and Emmalee Bierly, LMFT

Mental Health, Education, Health & Fitness, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Relationships

5 • 717 Ratings

🗓️ 16 June 2025

⏱️ 44 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

On this week's episode of ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen are talking about conflict languages! Much like love languages, we each gravitate toward certain patterns when in conflict. Em and Jen break down five different conflict languages to help you understand how you approach and navigate conflict. They discuss how to identify which conflict language(s) you speak, the avoidant + anxious dynamic in relationships, why you might find your partner's conflict language distressing, if you can change your conflict style, and so much more! Tune in to gain insight, awareness, and action! PS: Fast forward to around 7:30 to skip the intro and get straight to today’s content. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Matched With One of Our Therapists⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ at The Therapy Group! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ShrinkChicks on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Know Yourself Grow Yourself Journal⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!! Check out ShrinkChicks on YouTube by subscribing here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://youtube.com/channel/UCrxuhDqoL4ML3UE8b2J2BBg⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ A special thank you to this week's sponsors for supporting ShrinkChicks! We have these exclusive offers for our listeners: Leesa: Go to ⁠⁠Leesa.com⁠⁠ for 25% off a mattress PLUS get an extra $50 off with promo code shrinkchicks, exclusive for our listeners Headspace: For a limited time, get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/SHRINKCHICKS60 to unlock all of Headspace FREE for 60 days! Green Chef: Head to ⁠⁠Greenchef.com/50SHRINKCHICKS⁠⁠ and use code 50SHRINKCHICKS to get 50% off your first month, then 20% off for two months with free shipping Wildgrain: Get $30 off your first box - PLUS free croissants in every box - when you go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Wildgrain.com/SHRINKCHICKS⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to start your subscription or use code SHRINKCHICKS at checkout Pretty Litter: Go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠prettylitter.com/SHRINKCHICKS⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy Quince: Go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/shrinkchicks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order Spot & Tango: Go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠spotandtango.com/shrinkchicks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and use code SHRINKCHICKS to get 50% off your first order

Transcript

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0:00.0	This podcast is brought to you by Podcast Nation.
0:04.8	When you have been in these conflict languages for so long and in these conflict styles, that really simple, like we're saying these simple sentences, but they don't feel simple.
0:13.3	Right.
0:14.1	Understanding what your conflict languages is really important and you might want to reflect back when like the last time you got in a
0:22.0	conflict, how did you handle it? And where do you fall? Right. And as we said earlier,
0:26.7	there might be times in which you fall into one category, other times that you fall into other
0:31.5	categories, depending on what's going on in your life. And you might take pieces from all of them.
0:49.7	Yeah. going on in your life and you might take pieces from all of them. Mm-hmm. Welcome back to another episode of shrink chicks.
0:54.9	Take a seat on our virtual therapy couch and get ready to learn all about, well, you.
0:56.0	I'm Emily Beerley.
0:57.3	And I'm Jennifer Chakin.
1:01.3	And we're both licensed, marriage and family therapist and relationship experts. We're the owners and founders of the therapy group, a nationwide psychotherapy practice with down-to-earth therapists just like us.
1:08.8	Your session is starting.
1:10.1	So get ready to know yourself and grow
1:12.2	yourself. Anyone else had that fantasy where you can casually pull a warm golden loaf of bread
1:21.0	out of your oven and impress everyone? Like you've just come back from study abroad in the French
1:25.1	countryside? No, just me?
1:27.8	Well, that's my real life now because of wild grain.
1:31.2	This episode of shrink shakes is brought to you by wild grain, the first bake from frozen
1:35.2	subscription box for artisanal breads, pastries, and pastas.
1:38.8	Every item baked straight from your freezer in under 25 minutes.
1:42.7	No thawing, no prep, no cleanup, and somehow it still
	...

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