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The Daily Dad

What's More Important?

The Daily Dad

Daily Dad

Society & Culture, Dads, Relationships, Parenting, Self-improvement, Kids & Family, Ryan Holiday, Wisdom, Education, Fatherhood

4.8602 Ratings

🗓️ 29 November 2022

⏱️ 4 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

It’s strange. The things we’re upset about–with our spouses, with our children, with our siblings. They feel like they matter so much in the moment. With time or distance though, these feelings always fade. And what’s left when we’ve acted on them? When we let them get the better of us in the moment?

Sheepishness. Regret. Damage that cannot be undone.

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Transcript

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0:00.0

Welcome to the Daily Dad podcast, where we provide one lesson every single day to help you with your most important job, being a parent.

0:12.2

I'm Ryan Holiday, and I draw these lessons from ancient philosophy, modern psychology, practical wisdom, and insights from parents just like you all over the world.

0:24.1

Thank you for listening, and we hope this helps.

0:32.7

What's more important? It's strange that things we're upset about with our spouses, with our children,

0:39.6

with our siblings. They feel like they matter to us so much in the moment. With time or distance,

0:45.2

though those feelings always fade. And what's left when we've acted on them? When we let them

0:50.8

get the better of us in the moment?ishness regret damage that cannot be undone

0:56.0

the writer jansy dunn recently wrote in the new york times about advice she and her husband got

1:01.7

from a therapist whenever i was about to lose my temper with tom he told me i was to run into the

1:07.3

bedroom pull out the photo and say to it I know that what I'm about to do

1:11.7

is going to cause you harm, but right now, my anger is more important to me than you are.

1:18.7

As you can imagine, she writes, this was an exercise that did not need to be done more than a few

1:24.2

times, which is why we should each try a version of it in our own lives.

1:28.6

Because so much of what we get angry about is not only not more important to us than our

1:33.0

children or our marriages, it's not important at all. Think back to the things your own parents

1:38.7

got upset with you about. The shoes in the hallway, the elbows on the table, the flunked history

1:43.5

test, the snide remarks,

1:45.2

the job you took out of college or the lifestyle you chose during it.

1:49.0

How little they seem to matter now.

1:51.6

Many feel like distant memories of another person.

1:54.8

Yet at the time there was somehow so consequential that they produced a kind of harshness

1:59.4

from your parents in words, if not only in

...

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