What really obvious thing have you only just realized? That the phrase mint condition means

like new, because it's the condition coins leave the mint in. I must have been around 11 or 12

years old when I realized that in order of appearance during the end credits of a movie

doesn't list the actors or actresses by who is just the most good

looking. I learned a couple of years ago that it's not the mayor of bad news, it's actually

the bearer of bad news. I'm 25. Salantro and coriander are the same plant. I only just today realized that the walk the plank plank on a

boat is not a special addition that pirates added to their ships as a means of public execution

that looked like a little wooden diving board. It is in fact the very same plank as the gangplank that you'd normally

used to get on and off the ship. It is not the presence of the plank that is threatening,

but the absence of the dock. Until recently, I also thought that despite the obvious name,

being keel-hauled meant that you were just thrown off of the ship and left behind. I didn't realize

that they tied you to a line, threw you off, and dragged you off the ship and left behind. I didn't realize that they tied you to a line,

threw you off, and dragged you under the ship's keel. That you have to add a can of water to Campbell's

soup. Apparently, I've been drinking straight condensed soup this whole time.

The first time I visited the USA, I was on my own and in New York and going to all of the museums.

I kept seeing signs that said no strollers and thought, because we call strollers prams in the

UK, that you guys were just super strict about the proper amount of attention required to visit a

museum. I actually pretended to show more interest than I had in order to not be thought of

as some deadbeat out for a casual stroll.

It wasn't until about day three that I saw a no strollers sign that included a graphic

for idiots like me.

That calling someone simple is just a nice way of calling someone stupid.

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