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James O'Brien's Mystery Hour

What qualifications do you need to be a vicar? - 23 Jan 14

James O'Brien's Mystery Hour

Global

Comedy, Society & Culture

4.6960 Ratings

🗓️ 23 January 2014

⏱️ 44 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

If you've ever wondered "why", then this is the hour for you. Sometimes simple, sometimes intelligent, but almost always entertaining, probably the best hour of radio you could ever download!

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

The promise that I issue to you is that by one o'clock today, you will know more and you do now.

0:08.2

LBC 97.3 Mystery Hour with James O'Brien.

0:15.4

Here it goes. Three minutes after 12 and the hour of enlightenment is upon us.

0:20.4

I might revolve it actually in a case. maybe we should start calling it Enlightenment Hour.

0:24.3

No, everyone will think it's religious.

0:25.7

This is your weekly opportunity to get an answer to the question that has had you puzzled since, I don't know, breakfast or 1952.

0:33.2

The point is, somebody listening to this program will know the answer to your question.

0:36.8

It might even be possible that the person listening to this program today during this hour

0:41.6

is the only person available anywhere to answer your question, but you're not going to find out

0:46.0

unless you ask it. And you ask it in time-honored fashion by dialing 0845-6060-9-73.

0:52.8

So we are looking for the who, the why, the where, the when, the whither, the wherefore, the wences, you name it, if it's an interrogative pronoun, we want it.

1:01.4

And the only rules for inclusion are these.

1:04.6

Repetition is the enemy.

1:07.4

If it's a question that's been asked and successfully answered relatively recently, by which I mean that Jones the engineer and I, with our combined age of 85,

1:14.9

if we can between us remember dealing with the question, we won't do it again.

1:20.0

It's perfectly possible, however, that we have done it previously and we've both forgotten.

1:24.6

Such is life and the passage of time.

1:26.3

The only other circumstances in which you'll be politely invited to jog on is if we think the question's boring. And I'm afraid the management's decision is final on this. Michael and Talia answering your phones will attempt very politely to encourage you to move along. But if it becomes necessary to lose that patina of politeness, then everybody suffers.

1:44.8

So if they say no, it means no.

1:46.8

There's no negotiations or don't ask for credit as refusal often offends.

1:51.7

That's it, really, from me.

1:52.8

If you're new to this, you're in for a treat.

...

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