What NOT to Do During a Breakup

The Fr. Mike Schmitz Catholic Podcast

Ascension

Christianity, Religion & Spirituality, Society & Culture

4.9 • 7.1K Ratings

🗓️ 14 March 2019

⏱️ 10 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Fr. Mike is asked a lot about what to do when your life is thrown off course by a breakup.

In a previous episode, Fr. Mike discussed four questions to ask yourself when discerning God’s will for your life. When presented with a new door (or big decision), ask yourself: Is it good? Is it open? Is it wise? Is it something I want?

Now when applying this discernment process to a relationship, you have to remember that the other person is likely asking him or herself the same questions. The hardest heartbreak, though, comes when the first three questions check out but the fourth question—Is this something I want?—does not.

In these situations, the one thing Fr. Mike says not to do is blame God. If you’re the one choosing to break up with your significant other, it’s easy to deflect the blame onto God and say he told you to do it. It’s more likely, however, that God gave you the freedom to choose what to do for yourself. So take responsibility.

If you are the one who was dumped, God still has a plan for you. You are more than a footnote to the life of your former boyfriend or girlfriend, so don’t let anything he or she said make you feel that way. Go and find where God is leading you next.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	How's it going?
0:05.6	Hi, my name is Father Mike Schmitz and this is The Sinship Resents.
0:08.0	So um, for basically my entire life, at least my entire life is a priest, people have come
0:13.7	to me with this common dilemma, this common problem, this common heartbreak and here is how
0:18.2	it goes typically.
0:19.5	It's father, I was in a relationship and it was so good and I prayed about it and I talked
0:23.0	my spiritual director about it and talked to my family and friends about it and it seemed
0:26.5	like this is the relationship that God wanted me to be in and I was ready to get to
0:29.9	marry to this person.
0:30.9	Maybe there was even a proposal and then they broke up with me or they were saying something
0:36.6	and say something like, I discerned the content and so I prayed about it and I talked
0:43.3	my spiritual director about it and all seemed really good and I applied and they said I
0:47.7	wasn't accepted or I got there and they said it didn't belong, you know, that I wasn't
0:51.5	supposed to be there, it wasn't supposed to stay or a guy, same story, check all these
0:54.7	boxes like I prayed about it, I applied to the seminary, applied to the diocese, applied
0:59.1	to the religious community and they said no.
1:01.7	And they'll say things like, but how can I have discern God's will so wrong?
1:06.3	How could I gotten it so wrong?
1:07.6	Or it doesn't even have to be a relationship stuff, it could be like I took this job, I thought
1:12.6	I thought it was what God wanted, I moved to this town, I thought it was what God wanted
1:15.5	and then it just didn't work out.
1:17.2	Good big question, sorry, the big question is how could I have gotten God's will so wrong,
	...

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