What Marriage Challenges Are 'Normal' and What's Not Okay: Episode 403

EmPowered Couples with The Freemans

Aaron & Jocelyn Freeman

Education, Society & Culture, Relationships, Self-improvement

5.0 • 589 Ratings

🗓️ 1 July 2025

⏱️ 48 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Just because something is common in marriage doesn't mean it's healthy.

We've heard countless couples ask:
"Is this just a hard season… or is something actually wrong?"
"Are we still okay, even though this feels hard?"

In this episode, we unpack those questions using anonymous submissions from real couples. You'll hear what challenges are normal in long-term relationships—and what behavior or dynamics cross the line into unhealthy territory.

We cover emotional disconnection, mismatched intimacy, recurring conflict, parenting stress, and more. Plus, we share clear next steps for how to handle each one.

Whether you're feeling overwhelmed or just want clarity, this conversation will leave you feeling validated, informed, and ready to make meaningful change.

🎧 What You'll Learn:

What's normal vs what's not okay in conflict, intimacy, and parenting
What's normal vs what's not okay in conflict, intimacy, and parenting
Real examples from couples like you (and how we'd respond)
One mindset shift that helps you stop tolerating what's not working

🛠️ Resources Mentioned in the Episode

THIS SUMMER ONLY 3 MARRIAGE CHANGING GUIDES FOR THE PRICE OF TWO 🎉

→ Making Up & Moving Forward Guide
→ De-Escalating Conflicts Guide
→ Family Meeting Guide

Get the bundle here: https://thecouplesexperience.com/3guidesbundle

Surprise Bonus for Committed Couples
If this episode was a wake-up call or gut check, you're not alone. Many couples drift because they normalize disconnection, resentment, or the roommate phase… until it's too late.

That's why we created the Best of Us 30-Day Couples Challenge to help you reignite emotional and physical intimacy in just a few intentional minutes a day.

This limited edition is only available a few times per year. And right now? We've got a surprise for you waiting here: https://thecouplesexperience.com/surprise

Episode Time Stamps:

01:00 – Is this a normal marriage challenge… or not okay?

01:38 – One key mindset shift: "If it hurts your partner and you won't change, it's an issue"

03:03 – Are you playing the same game—or using totally different marriage rulebooks?

05:29 – Conflict: What's normal vs. what's actually damaging

07:13 – Are you really repairing—or just resetting the same fight cycle?

08:43 – Is it okay to not talk for days after an argument?

11:27 – Want to shorten your conflict recovery time? Here's how

13:05 – The truth about intimacy: What's normal… and what hurts the relationship

16:00 – Intimacy shouldn't only satisfy one person

18:48 – What to do if desire is low (emotionally, physically, or hormonally)

20:44 – The role of emotional and physical check-ins

22:57 – Are you in a "roommate rut"? You need this challenge

24:35 – The emotional load & mental load: What's normal, what's not okay

28:15 – "If you're not playing by the same rules, no wonder it feels off"

32:11 – Parenting struggles: How common are they and what's truly not okay

36:55 – You don't just need consistency… you need adaptability

38:44 – Stop parenting by default—here's what to do instead

42:30 – What happens when personal struggles or boundaries go unaddressed

44:15 – The boundary breakdown: "If you're not playing by the same rules, you're losing"

47:55 – Final takeaways + How to get resources for your marriage

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello and welcome to the Empower Couples podcast. We're here you get modern, non-boring relationship advice for you and your partner to communicate like pros, fight smarter and stay in the same team no matter the challenge that you face. I am one of your hosts, Aaron Freeman.
0:14.7	And I'm Jocelyn Freeman, but you all just know us as the Freemans. We asked our community of couples, the things they wonder, is this a normal
0:21.6	challenge in marriage or something that's not okay? Some of the submissions are going to surprise
0:26.7	you. Others will feel as though we're reading from your very own journal. Now, there's something
0:31.7	that we must distinguish. There's a difference between what is common and that many couples
0:37.2	might deal with and what is
0:38.8	healthy versus unhealthy. And we're really going to break that down in these different categories
0:43.4	of conflict, of parenting issues, personal matters, finance matters. But also, many challenges
0:49.8	are a normal and natural part of what marriage takes and to live a long life together and to
0:56.1	navigate the hardships and the different seasons that you will be facing. And we're going to
0:59.7	break that down as well in this episode. And here's one principle to guide all the listeners
1:04.9	today. If your spouse is asking for you to make a change or if there's something that's hurting them
1:12.1	and you refuse to make the change or even get support to make that change, that is an issue.
1:18.6	So even if there's something that I disagree with that you're bringing up to me, I honestly
1:24.1	would never say, well, that's who I am.
1:26.6	You need to accept me.
1:28.4	Marriage is a team game.
1:30.5	And there may be things that you are now realizing that are affecting your partner negatively.
1:38.3	But this isn't a hill to stand and die on.
1:41.5	I am not fixed.
1:43.0	I can decide to make the changes within myself so that it
1:48.0	stops hurting you and it's not impacting you. To keep with the sports analogy, you know,
	...

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