Hi, I'm your host, Kate Lister.

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Hello, my lovely betwixters.

It's me, Kate Lister, and you are listening to drumroll please.

Dittalda-da-da-d-d-d-d-l-d-d-l-d-da-da-dw betwixt the sheets.

And I'm so glad that you are, because if you weren't listening, then it's just me talking into a microphone.

And that, frankly, is just a little bit sad.

But before we can keep going and before I can let you listen to any more, I have to tell you.

This is an adult podcast spoken by adults to other adults about adulty things in an adulty way,

covering a range of adult subjects and you should be an adult too.

And if you can't tick all of that lot off,

well then be off with you. We don't want you hanging around here, lowering the tone, or rather raising the tone. But either way, be off with you. Right, on with the show.

I'll be honest with you. I don't often get to sit at the highest tables in the land, but when I do, it's nice to indulge, isn't it?

Here in the Tudor court, it's no different.

When they're dishing out portions of eel and porpoise, it would be rude to refuse.

Wise, but rude.

And anyway, Big Henry's watching on, so we better all behave and

tow the line. And we've got to look our best. We've got to pick our teeth clean. In order

to get chunks of porpoise out from between our teeth, we've been given golden toothpicks. A little

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