What Kind of Voice Are You Giving Them?

The Daily Dad

Daily Dad

Dads, Society & Culture, Education, Parenting, Wisdom, Ryan Holiday, Kids & Family, Relationships, Fatherhood, Self-improvement

4.6 • 630 Ratings

🗓️ 3 March 2021

⏱️ 3 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

“You hear it all the time. The voice in your head. You’ve heard it all your life. The one that tells you what’s right. The one that tells you what it thinks you ought to do. It can also turn nasty, whispering that you’re not good enough, that everyone sees through you, that you’ll never measure up.”

Ryan explains how our internal narrative is largely developed during childhood, and why you should take the responsibility of molding your child’s inner voice very seriously, on today’s Daily Dad Podcast.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Daily Dad podcast where we provide one lesson every day to help you
0:12.3	with your most important job being a dad. These are lessons inspired by ancient philosophy,
0:17.7	by practical wisdom, and insights from dads all over the world. Thank you for
0:23.6	listening, and we hope this helps. What kind of voice are you giving them? You hear it all the time,
0:36.3	the voice in your head. You've heard it all your life, the one that tells you what's right, the one that tells you what it thinks you ought to do. It's also one that can turn nasty, whispering that you're not good enough, that everyone sees through you, that you'll never measure up. The performance psychologist Dr. Jim Lohr has studied countless athletes and elite leaders,
0:55.9	and he says that this voice is the key to our success. I began to realize, he said in an interview
1:01.3	with Tim Ferriss, what really mattered in a really significant way. The tone and content, the voice no one
1:08.2	hears. I came to understand the ultimate voice for all of us in life
1:12.2	is that private voice. Where does it come from? Where did you get that voice originally?
1:18.5	It came from your parents, mostly. As he explains, we know it begins to form as early as five years of
1:24.1	age, and it comes principally from the authority figures in your life, however
1:28.7	functional or dysfunctional.
1:31.2	This should sober us up as parents.
1:33.8	This is a cold bucket of water dumped right on our heads.
1:37.0	We are responsible for the voice that will be inside our kids' head for the rest of their
1:42.2	lives.
1:42.9	What we are saying to them, what we are teaching
1:45.8	them, what we are showing them is shaping their conscience, their sense of self, and then creating
1:51.0	the discussions they're going to be having with themselves forever. Our job, then, is to give them the
1:57.0	best voice possible. Are you filling your children's heads with the right stuff? Are you
2:01.9	helping them develop a lifelong coach of wisdom? Are those voices in their heads functional or
2:07.4	dysfunctional, angry or kind, patient, loving, or cruel and unforgiving? Will you be the voice of an
	...

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