What job do you have that sounds completely made up?

This is a job I had in high school and early college years.

I was a lifeguard response tester.

I'd go to public pools or lakes with a lifeguard.

Then I would pretend to drown and see how well they handled the situation.

It was fun except for when they'd fail, and I had to walk

over telling them, I was drowning for about 10 minutes out there. One woman tried to help me before

the lifeguard realized once, and I just had to go with it. She did a mighty fine job, and others

would just yell for the lifeguard. I go into a big vault for the Reserve Bank of New Zealand and I burn

money. Every day, thousands of banknotes go to phase out the old ones to make way for the new.

How's that monitored? Is each note accounted for and has anyone or yourself ever tried to skim a few

bucks from the burn pile? Bank of Canada had an interview once where they described and showed

the interior. Cameras everywhere. Armed guards? Everywhere. Checkpoints, searches, x-rays,

everywhere. The risk versus reward is minimal. The most you might be able to escape with,

if you're lucky, is a few bills. And the risk for that is years in prison. They also

burn counterfeit bills at the same location. I do lighting for amusement parks. People generally

tell me they never realize you could do that for a living. I remind them that someone has

planned the lighting for anywhere you go. Speaking of amusement parks, I'm retired from a major theme park. I worked

there as a scenic painter, making everything look aged, wood grain, things like that, plus

murals. A lot of people don't look at those sort of things when they visit the parks, and

many presume that the faux finishes are real. I find and keep track of submarines from an airplane. I attempt to read addresses on mail

that machines can't read. The narrator had always wondered what happened to the letters whose addresses

...