What is the worst permanent life decision you've ever made?

Trusting a sketchy dentist because he was in the neighbourhood and took Medicaid.

For every filling he gave us, he drilled out entirely too much healthy tooth,

and gave us each one root canal.

In each of our mouths, the tooth that had root canal treatment completely broke off to the gum,

and all the teeth that he'd filled ended up breaking. He's since been put out of business and been

charged with malpractice. Playing in a band without earplugs. Tenysus is the worst. I decided to try

and be a parkour expert. My crappy coordination didn't kill my

motivation until one evening I was at a local park and decided to do a massive wall jump that

failed epically. I fell on top of a jagged surface and tore my intestines. Due to this injury,

I now have a permanent colostomy at the ripe age of 16. Ah, mistakes,

man. They suck. Stretching my ears. One of them is stuck with a 10mm hole that I have to plug

in permanently, or else it looks like a cat's puckered butt. A tattoo of my wife's name. She's got mine, too. Married for six years at the time,

blissfully in love. We lasted another eight. Now I just want to chop my arm off. You know, you could

chop off hers too and then swap arms. Problem solved. Missing the party that Bill Gates threw when I was in college

before Microsoft took off, because I took too much green herb. Oh my God. Rolling the dice and

doing the deed unprotected. I have a large birthmark on one side of my face, and when I was

about eight years old, when my father

was still alive and we had a decent income, my mother informed me of a simple procedure and

asked if I wanted to have said birthmark removed. I said no, because it gives me character.

As it turns out, that character is a socially awkward hermit who, and I've had a couple of women tell me this,

looks like an unspeakable act offender.

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