What is the weirdest conversation a waiter overheard while serving a table?

One day I was cleaning tables on the patio when I noticed these two men had spread cheap

parmesan cheese all over their table. I went over and asked very sweetly if I could clear it

off for them. They shifted awkwardly and one of them asks, this is for a mosquito. No, this is

cheese. They turn to each other and yell in unison, This is for mosquito. No, this is cheese.

They turn to each other and yell in unison,

It is cheese.

Turns out they were Danish and very nice, just confused.

Last night was pizza and trivia night at the restaurant I serve at.

I'm helping a couple in their mid to late 50s with pop culture questions against restaurant

policy. We were all laughing and having a great time when the wife leans over to her husband and says,

she's so cute. Can I ask her to come home with us? While I'm standing right there. I laughed it off

and got a $40 tip on a $60 check. And their phone number. To keep those inquiring minds informed,

no, I did not call them back. It's just not my thing. I'm in a committed relationship with a

wonderful man, and jeopardizing what we have for $40 is dumb. They're regulars of mine,

so Wednesdays should be interesting now. The wife was the really pushy one, too. Also, not Brad and

Angelina. I overheard a man proposing a swinger lifestyle to his wife. She didn't like it one bit.

And there I come to bring them their drinks in the middle of the conversation.

I can't believe you're going to lose your virginity tonight, said at a family table,

I like to think they were all quick-witted and messing with me.

Maybe she just got married?

Two adults, two kids, and the father said it.

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