What's the strangest thing a junkie tried to trade to get their fix?

Someone offered me their dog for a $50 bag.

They were such a crappy person and a terrible dog owner.

You'd better believe I took that frickin' dog and we had eight glorious years together.

Don't tell my current dog, but that was the most caring dog I've ever met.

I missed the big guy every day. My friend would

sell his boss, Green Herb, and then was paid through his paycheck. He thought it was a great deal until I

explained that now he was paying income tax on his sales. I mean, you don't want to tangle with the IRS

about money you got from selling substances. They don't care how you got the money. They want

their taxes. I had a kid write me an essay for To Kill a Mockingbird in high school for an

eighth. I got an A and I gave him an extra bag for it. And no, I was not the teacher. My old dealer

got his leaky roof fixed by a roofing crew that he'd sold some smack to.

In my younger days, before being a parent, I sold Green Herb and ended up fronting a lot out,

and then when the people couldn't pay me, they'd give me iPads, expensive glass pipes, knives,

and one time almost a get, but I didn't know if that was stolen, so I declined. I accepted almost anything that I thought was useful or cool.

The strangest thing I got was a dollar t-shirt.

It was just a dollar, but it was folded into a tiny shirt, and I thought it was cute,

so the kid basically got a gram for one dollar.

I still have it, too.

Life Pro tip, learn origami to impress your substance dealer, so they'll give you a good deal.

This was in the 90s. A school near me was going through some major renovations. They were practically going to be built again from the ground up.

Anyways, a district administrator tried to trade one of those big outdoor school signs for some white snow.

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