Hello, internet! Welcome to film theory.

Call us Detective Pikachu, because we're solving the mysteries you

didn't ask about and might not have actually wanted to know about. Because I'm starting in on

what's turning out to be one of the most monumental feats of my entire film theory career.

I am dissecting every major Disney movie. That means every Disney animated film that's been in theaters since 1939

to determine once and for all which is the deadliest of all the Disney movies.

And if I can swing it, what is the overall total kill count for the entire Disney canon?

And foo boy, it is SO much harder than it looks.

In case you haven't noticed over the years, Disney movies, for all their cute talking animals,

can get surprisingly dark, and the characters are pretty darn good at killing one another.

And in some really creative ways, too.

I mean, Clayton and Tarzan hanging himself with a vine, Oliver and Company's

electrocution by subway track. Some of this stuff is better than the slasher movies that

you see in Dead Meets Kill Count series. I mean sure, some Disney movies only manage

light emotional scarring.

Mother!

Mother!

But when you start dealing with dragons, snow monsters, and very sharp sewing equipment,

you start running into some serious collateral damage in a hurry.

But just how much are we talking about?

Well, it is way more than you'd think,

especially considering that this lineup is all G or PG rated and intended for kids.

...