The promise that I issue to you is that by one o'clock today, you will know more than you do now.

LBC 97.3 Mystery Hour with James O'Brien.

Three minutes after 12, kudos to Eric.

Did I really just say, I don't want to oversell mystery hour, but it is the most informative,

entertaining and amusing hour of radio you will ever hear anywhere in the world ever.

And Eric quite rightly points out in a text to 84850. I'm glad you didn't oversell it, James.

Yes, touche. The way it works is this. You're probably familiar with the newspaper features,

the newspaper columns, where readers write in with a mystery, a question that has got them puzzled. It can be anything, really, from the banal to the incredibly brainy. It could be a question. We've had quite a few lately that have demanded really quite high levels of qualification and education to answer. But equally, we also get a few every now and then, which are at the opposite end of the intellectual scale. For example, one of my all-time favourites was, why do we only wear a bicycle clip on one leg, James? But I digress slightly. The point I'm trying to make is that anything goes during this hour of radio. If you've got a question to which you want to find an answer, then if it is neither dull nor repetitive, by which I simply mean we can remember dealing with it recently, then I want you to feel welcome.

And I want you to accept that welcome by picking up your phone and dialing 0845-60-60-9773.

It could be a who. It could be something the kids have asked you during the school holidays, and every week they remember, and you've failed thus far completely to find the answer that you need. And your children are still hopefully laboring under the illusion that you know everything. Mine are. And a realization, inevitable though it may be, should be postponed for as long as possible. You want your fallibility to be camouflaged, protected, kept quiet for the longest time. So if you've

got a who, a why, a what, aware, a when, a where, a whence, even possibly a wherefore,

art now, then the number you need is this. 084560609773. Historically, it's a remarkably busy hour of radio, but I promise you one thing. If I say the phone number out loud, it means I've got phone lines free. And I said it out loud a minute ago, and I'm going to say it out loud again now. 0845-60-90-973 is the number to call. What is your mystery?

And that's it, really.

We will endeavour to secure an answer for you.

The way we do that, of course, I must explain if you're new to the program.

The way we do that, of course, is by asking you to ring in if you hear somebody else ask a question to which you know the answer.

So if you hear somebody ask, whether question to which you know the answer. So if you hear somebody

ask whether it is astrophysics or cake decorating, if you actually have the knowledge filed

away somewhere in your mind that that person is seeking, then please call in with the answer

on the same number. Text, emails, tweets, although welcome and often read,

don't generally make up a big part of this feature for what I presume of fairly obvious reasons.

At Mr. James Obie, if you want to get involved on Twitter, though,

...