Good morning. Would it be childish and inappropriate? Or would it be a welcome slice of levity in an otherwise unbearably serious sea of news?

To use today's programme, at least in part, to anoint king or queen ferret. I mean the public figure. I suppose this is following on from Nick's theme about beavers and otters.

I'd like to introduce ferrets to the equation.

Specifically, that lesser spotted reverse ferret.

Or in the case of our right-wing media this week, the greater spotted reverse ferret.

But we would anoint king or queen ferret, as in the public figure, who is either most assiduously ignoring the opinion they held about Donald Trump's war in Iran last week, or abandoning it and plowing ahead regardless in entirely the opposite

direction. I've got four contenders for you at the moment for the title of King or Queen

Ferret. Kemi Badenok is very much in the field. Nigel Farage inevitably has found himself blowing in the wind

like an entirely unreliable and unprincipled charlatan.

Perish the thought.

Andrew Neal, in the Daily Mail, as we suggested may occur,

has undergone an extraordinary sea change.

And Richard, call me Dick, Little John in the Daily Mail,

is so ashamed to be British that he stopped writing about the war entirely and started writing

instead about lollipop ladies. So I don't know, who is the king or the queen of the ferrets,

the reverse ferrets? We may play that game a little later in the program. Would you like to play

another game as well? This is a bit niche, all right? If you've got no idea what you're

listening to, you've accidentally tuned in your radio or you've have no clue who I am, which is a

perfectly reasonable and probably an enviable position in which to find yourself, then just to

forgive me and indulge me for a moment. I got very excited

yesterday about the fact that Eleanor laminated my Chilcott checklist. It normally takes me months

to have my requests met if indeed they are ever met at all on this program, such as the

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