What If We Tried To Win? with Justin Halpern

The Distraction: A Defector Podcast

Defector Media

Society & Culture, Sports

4.4 • 2.5K Ratings

🗓️ 16 July 2026

⏱️ 65 minutes

🔗️ Recording | Apple Podcasts | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Justin Halpern (writer/producer, Abbott Elementary, Sh*t My Dad Says) has a new book, Get Lost, and he here’s to talk about how he wrote it with Drew and Roth. But first, Roth and Justin must commiserate about the Mets, and Drew gets recognized on the beach. Then, they open up the funbag to answer real questions from Defector readers and Distraction listeners.

Go get Justin’s new book, Get Lost, out now!

Do you want to hear your question answered on the pod? Well, give us a call at 909-726-3720. That is 909-PANERA-0!

Stuff We Talked About

Dapping in the toilet
Witch doctors & geodesic domes
Getting your kid to read your book
A getting-hit coach
Getting all your blood replaced
Our sweet soft sons

Sponsors

- Raycon, where you can get 20% off

- Zocdoc, where you can find and instantly book a doctor you love today

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Credits

- Hosts: Drew Magary & David Roth

- Producer: Brandon Grugle, Multitude

- Editor: Mischa Stanton, Multitude

- Production Services & Ads: Multitude

- Subscribe to Defector!

About The Show

The Distraction is Defector's flagship podcast about sports (and movies, and art, and sandwiches, and certain coastal states) from longtime writers Drew Magary and David Roth. Every week, Drew and Roth tackle subjects, both serious and impossibly stupid, with a parade of guests from around the world of sports and media joining in the fun! Roth and Drew also field Funbag questions from Defector readers, answer listener voicemails, and get upset about the number of people who use speakerphone while in a public bathroom stall. This is a show where everything matters, because everyone could use a Distraction. Head to defector.com for more info.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	We're back. We're back. It's a distraction. I'm Drew. That's raw. That you doing raw.
0:07.4	I'm good, man. It's nice to be back. How are you?
0:09.8	Yeah, we are. We are. We are. Truly, we're back.
0:12.6	Let me tell you one, uh, one story from, uh, our beach thing before we get our guest, Justin Halper in here.
0:18.2	Justin, you can start talking if you want. Anyway, we're at the beach, and we had a, like, after many, many years of cycling, like, you always buy an inflatable and that it breaks, like, by the end of the week. That's what we always do. I finally found, like, the perfect inflatable. It was, like, just a regular raft, like, you know, like a lounge, like a pool lounge.
0:38.9	And it had like the drink holder.
0:40.8	And it had, it even had a headrest, which is super clutch with an inflatable, like when you're
0:45.0	going into a pool or to the ocean.
0:46.8	But it busted.
0:47.9	It busted, right?
0:48.9	So all I have, we have this other one in the, in the closet.
0:54.6	It's like a giant round raft, like really fucking big.
0:59.3	Complete pain in the ass to blow up and deflate, but whatever.
1:03.3	So I blow it up, take it to the beach.
1:05.9	I take it into the ocean with my sons.
1:08.3	I lie on it myself first.
1:10.1	I'm like, it's fine. I'll be good.
1:12.8	And just as I say that, a wave comes and just absolutely fucking ruins my shit and flips me.
1:18.8	Like, I get flipped over like a fucking pancake. Like, so, so just like I'm lying flat on it and
1:25.4	then it puts me up. and then I get face planted directly
1:28.6	into the turf into the surf and I start laughing my ass off because it was fine I was fine
1:34.4	but I was laughing very hard and and I just got a blue sky mention last night from someone
	...

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