You're listening to the Love Over Addiction Podcast.

Hey, alright, so last week we talked about the seven clues you're ready to leave your

relationship. And if you haven't listened, go ahead and give it a listen, but you can

also start here. We finished on clue number three, so we're going to jump in today to

clue number four. And this is when you love someone struggling with addiction, clue number

four that you are ready to leave your relationship is that you're afraid they will get better

after you leave. So I hear from a lot of you in our secret Facebook community that the

idea of you leaving scares you because you think once you leave, well, what if they get

better? What if one day they are able to achieve long-term sobriety? Now, if that's how

you're feeling, I want to challenge you and give you some loving truth right here, okay?

My guess, my hunch is that you are absolutely the glue that keeps your relationship and

your family together, that it is through your work and your motivation and your drive,

your organizational skills, your communication skills, your loving thoughtful kindness. That

is the reason why your relationship succeeds. You don't give yourself enough credit. I promise

you you don't. And it is hard to do when you are in love with someone who rejects you

on a regular basis by using drugs and alcohol because you feel they are choosing the drugs

or the alcohol over you and that can leave you with very low self-esteem and it can make

you look at yourself in the mirror some days and say, what is wrong with me? Why can't

I change? Why don't they love me enough to get sober? And it leaves you for years with

all trying to make all this effort to get them sober because you believe the lie that

somehow, some way you hold the key to their sobriety and you don't. You have nothing to do with

whether they choose to drink or use drugs or cheat on you or look at pornography or whatever

...