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Shrink For The Shy Guy

What If I Don't Feel Lovable?

Shrink For The Shy Guy

Dr. Aziz: Social Anxiety And Confidence Expert, Author and Coach

Health & Fitness, Mental Health, Careers, Business, Self-improvement, Education

4.8649 Ratings

🗓️ 8 May 2024

⏱️ 27 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Welcome to today's transformative episode, where we tackle a profound yet often unspoken question: What if I don't feel lovable? If this question resonates with you, or if you're curious about the deeper nuances of self-love and worthiness, this episode is tailored for you. In our journey through life, we all face moments where we doubt our lovability, whether in professional environments or personal relationships. Dr. Aziz takes us through the complex layers of these feelings, exploring how our perceptions of lovability impact our interactions and self-esteem. The Roots of Feeling Unlovable Dr. Aziz delves into the core issues that make us question our worthiness of love. "99% of the time," he states, "the anxiety we experience is fundamentally about not feeling worthy of love." This revelation isn't limited to personal relationships but extends to how we perceive ourselves in all areas of life. Key Insight 1: Misconceptions About Love Dr. Aziz challenges common misconceptions about love, clarifying that love isn't about constant approval or being free from conflict. True love is about "a spacious appreciation of what is," not just what we do or how we perform. This episode helps unravel these complex emotions, guiding you toward a healthier understanding and acceptance of yourself. Key Insight 2: The Impact of Internal Dialogues How you talk to yourself significantly affects your feelings of lovability. Dr. Aziz discusses how negative self-talk and unrealistic expectations can lead to a distorted sense of self-worth. He provides strategies to transform these dialogues, fostering a more compassionate and accepting inner voice. Transforming Self-Perception This episode isn't just about identifying problems; it's about providing solutions. Dr. Aziz offers practical advice on how to shift your mindset from self-criticism to self-acceptance. He emphasizes the importance of recognizing and celebrating your inherent worth, independent of external validation. Quote to Reflect On: "Love is a spacious appreciation of what is." - Dr. Aziz Embrace Your Lovability As we wrap up, remember that feeling lovable isn't conditional upon others' perceptions or societal standards. It's a deeply personal journey of acknowledging and nurturing your true self. Dr. Aziz invites you to explore this journey with him, providing the tools and insights necessary for profound personal growth. For those looking to dive deeper, Dr. Aziz suggests checking out his book, On My Own Side, which expands on these themes and offers additional resources for personal development. Thank you for joining us today. Until next time, remember: you are worthy of love, and it's time to start believing it. You have the courage to be who you are, and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.

 

 

Are you questioning your worthiness of love? If your heart whispered "yes," you're not alone. This profound issue silently shapes much of our internal suffering, yet today, you've taken the first step toward a transformation. Join Dr. Aziz as he unravels the layers of feeling unlovable and guides you to a place of undeniable self-love and acceptance.

The Core Issue: Feeling Unlovable

Most anxiety, whether in professional settings or personal interactions, boils down to one thing: a deep-seated doubt in our lovability. Dr. Aziz emphasizes, "99% of the time, the core cause of anxiety is feeling unworthy of love." It's not just about whether others love you; it's about whether you feel you deserve love at all.

Key Insight 1: Understanding Your Worth

The belief that you are not lovable can infiltrate every area of life—from friendships where you feel like a burden, to relationships clouded by jealousy and insecurity. Dr. Aziz challenges this perception, encouraging a shift from self-criticism to recognizing your inherent worth. "Feeling unlovable is often a hidden driver of social anxiety and self-doubt, manifesting in ways we don’t even realize."

Key Insight 2: The Misconceptions of Love

Many of us confuse love with approval or a lack of conflict. Dr. Aziz clarifies this misconception: "Love is not about constant approval or absence of conflict. It’s a spacious appreciation of what is." He urges us to redefine love as an acceptance of the whole self—quirks, flaws, and all.

Transforming Self-Perception

How do we begin to feel truly lovable? It starts with changing how we perceive ourselves and dismantling the harsh criteria we use to judge our worth.

"Love is a spacious appreciation of what is." — Dr. Aziz

Embracing Authentic Self-Love

Dr. Aziz offers practical steps to cultivate a genuine sense of self-love that isn’t dependent on external validation. "Stop evaluating yourself against impossible standards. Start appreciating yourself as you would a sunset or a piece of art—without judgment, full of appreciation."

An Invitation to Change

This episode isn't just about understanding the dynamics of feeling unlovable; it's an invitation to radically change how you view yourself and your capacity to be loved. Dr. Aziz provides clear, actionable guidance on beginning this journey toward self-acceptance and unconditional self-love.

A Message of Hope

You are not alone in your feelings of unworthiness, and more importantly, you have the power to change these feelings. Embrace the knowledge and tools shared by Dr. Aziz, and start your journey towards believing in your unconditional lovability. Remember, "Your worth is never in question; it is a given."

Join Dr. Aziz in this transformative exploration, and unlock the door to a life where you fully appreciate and love yourself. For more insights and guidance, visit Dr. Aziz's website and delve into additional resources that can support your journey to confident living.

Experience love, not just as a fleeting emotion, but as a constant truth about who you are.

Transcript

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0:00.0

Welcome to Shrink for the Shy Guy.

0:05.0

This is the show for you if you are sick and tired of being held back by fear, self-doubt,

0:10.0

social anxiety, shyness, anything that's stopping you from you being you.

0:15.0

I'm going to share the most powerful tools and resources that I've been discovering over the last 15 years on my

0:21.9

journey to eradicate social anxiety and instill confidence, first in myself and then in every

0:28.5

single person that I meet on my journey. You're going to learn these tools and how to apply them

0:33.1

in your life now so that you can become the most free, powerful, bold, authentic version of you.

0:48.5

Hey, welcome today's episode of the show.

0:51.7

Today we're going to be talking about the core, the root,

0:56.3

the bedrock of confidence, self-confidence, which is how to believe in yourself. And at the end of

1:02.8

this episode, you're going to have a lot more clarity of what that even means, what gets in the way

1:06.8

and how to do it more. It's one of those phrases that everyone hears and has their own definition

1:13.1

of and generally it's good. If you said to somebody, hey, is it good to believe in oneself? Or do

1:21.4

kids need to believe in themselves more? I think most people would say, yeah, right? It's like self-esteem or confidence.

1:29.9

Like, it's good to have more confidence.

1:31.0

Yeah, sure is.

1:31.8

Why not?

1:32.9

And so generally, it's good to believe in yourself.

1:34.6

I mean, there are outlier cases where maybe it's not good to believe in yourself.

1:39.0

We'll cover some of those as well in today's episode.

1:41.8

But for the most part, it's something that we all want.

1:44.8

And at the same time, I think most people feel a sense that they don't believe in themselves

...

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