I'm Oprah Winfrey. Welcome to Super Soul Conversations, the podcast. I believe that one of

the most valuable gifts you can give yourself is time, taking time to be more fully present.

Your journey to become more inspired and connected to the deeper world around us starts right

now.

Being with thousands of people over the years has shown me that there is one desire we all

share. We want to feel valued. Whether you're a mother in Topeka or a business woman in Philadelphia,

each of us at our core longs to be loved, needed, understood, affirmed to have intimate connections

that leave us feeling more alive and human.

I once filmed a show in which I interviewed seven men of different ages and backgrounds,

all of whom had one thing in common. They cheated on their wives. It was one of the most

interesting candid conversations I've ever had and a huge aha moment for me. I realized

that the yearning to feel heard, needed, and important is so strong in all of us that

we seek that validation in whatever form we can get it.

For a lot of people, men and women, having an affair is an affirmation that I'm really

okay.

One of the men I interviewed who had been married 18 years and thought he had a moral code

that would withstand flirtatious temptation said about his mistress. There wasn't anything

special about her, but she listened, was interested, and made me feel special.

That is the key I thought. We all want to feel like we matter to somebody.

As a girl growing up, shuffled between Mississippi, Nashville and Milwaukee, I didn't feel

loved. I thought I could make people approve of me by becoming an achiever. Then in my 20s,

I based my worth on whether a man would love me. I remember once even throwing a boyfriend's

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