"What Happens When You Stop Reacting and Start Responding"

Sex With Emily

Health & Fitness, Sexuality

4.2 • 6.7K Ratings

🗓️ 12 September 2025

⏱️ 39 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE WhisperVibe™ OR a FREE Rose toy with any Whisper™ order! https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/emilymorse-podcast Join the SmartSX Membership : https://sexwithemily.com/smartsx Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: https://sexwithemily.com/guides/ Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. SHOP WITH EMILY!: https://bit.ly/3rNSNcZ (free shipping on orders over $99) Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website: https://sexwithemily.com/ Yes, No, Maybe Checklist: https://sexwithemily.com/swe-guides/SWE_YesNoMaybeChecklist.pdf Episode Summary In this Sex with Emily episode, comedian Adam Ferrara reveals why he sits by the front door with his dog for exactly 15 minutes every time his wife says "I'll be right there"—and how learning each other's patterns became the secret to their successful long-term marriage. Adam breaks down the difference between reacting and responding, sharing how his Italian upbringing taught him to react emotionally while his marriage taught him to respond from choice. He explains his breakthrough moment realizing that "worry is not responsibility"—a revelation that helped him separate anxiety from actual care-taking—and discusses his journey off ADD medication in favor of meditation and therapy. Through a caller's dilemma about losing sexual attraction to her boyfriend while being tempted by someone else, Emily and Adam explore whether sexual chemistry can be built or if some relationships lack that essential foundation. They tackle the hard truth about the two-year relationship mark when initial passion fades, and provide practical tools like the "Yes, No, Maybe" list for couples working to rebuild intimacy together. Timestamps: 0:00 - Introduction 1:32 - Losing Sexual Attraction After 2 Years 3:20 - Breaking Down Sexual Compatibility vs. Chemistry Issues 6:46 - The Oral Sex Double Standard Problem 8:13 - Creating vs. Fixing Sexual Connection 11:51 - Adam Ferrara on Anxiety & "Worry is Not Responsibility" 13:27 - Emily's Therapy Process: ADD, Self-Worth & Achievement 16:39 - Finding Presence Through Performance & Connection 18:25 - Marriage Communication: Learning Each Other's Patterns 22:43 - Reacting vs. Responding: Managing Emotional Impulses 25:43 - Meditation Practice: Separating Thoughts from Identity 29:24 - Practical Meditation Tips for Anxiety & ADD 31:16 - Childhood Trauma & Long-Term Anxiety Development 33:26 - Therapy Benefits: Life Tools, Not Stigma 34:28 - Five Quickie Questions

Transcript

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1:12.5	go get one today. I know her crazy and I know our, the way our we function is a unit. Like I know. If I got to go to the airport, I got to tell her it's a half hour before. And then I know she might make it on time. And if not, she's going to have to pee before we leave. So I'll be right there is at least 15 minutes.
1:14.4	So you just got to learn how to communicate.
1:15.5	I'll be right there.
1:20.7	You're listening to Sex with Emily.
1:23.7	I'm Dr. Emily, and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation around sex.
1:25.9	Today, I'm talking with comedian Adam Ferrara about the communication skills that have kept
1:30.8	his long-term marriage thriving.
1:32.8	We're diving into the messy realities of relationships.
1:35.8	How to stop walking on eggshells around your partner?
1:38.3	Why worry isn't the same as responsibility and what it really takes to choose responding
1:42.5	overreacting when your emotions are running high.
	...

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