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During his farewell address, President Joe Biden seemed sleepy and bitter as he mumbled for only 13 minutes.

So who did he steal this speech from Ozzy Osbourne?

Biden said, quote, Americans are being buried under misinformation as opposed to Joe, who will soon be buried under six feet of fresh dirt.

Biden claimed he created 17 million new jobs without mentioning that the pandemic wiped out 22 million,

so under him we lost 5 million jobs. That's like saying I totaled your car, but I saved your floor mats.

He warned us of a dangerous concentration of power, which could interfere with his pacemaker.

And added, it will take time to feel the full impact of all we've done together.

Well, he knows full impact. Just ask a flight of stairs.

Now, I'm not going to say he stunk up the place, but here was the pillow he was sitting on after the address.

What? He had some chocolate.

Meanwhile, nearly 200 paintings by Hunter Biden have been destroyed in the LA fires.

Even people who lost their homes now say it was worth it.

CNN has demoted Wolf Blitzer to a morning co-host role.

Well, it was either that or changing the newspaper in Bryant Stelter's cage.

And finally, a New York City gym teacher is accused of sticking his penis into a Lysol container

while standing in front of his class. I know. That is something you never expect to see in a New York City classroom.

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