Welcome to Welcome to Hell, the podcast for sinners, where you send us your tales of iniquity, and we offer our infernal judgment.

So you died, get over it, we have. You think you're the first one to be haunted by a supernatural jungle-based board game. Swing on that vine and ride that rhino right through the fiery gates for a good old-fashioned gossip with me. Daniel Fox, comedian, mosquito preserved in amber, and Hell's resident receptionist. And me, Dane Buckley, comedian, vivacious gruffalo and lopst angel.

Lopst angel. Lopst angel. Darling. I'm Boshner. Lopst angel.

Vervacious gruffalo, my new fragrance. Yeah, the new fragrance. But then Borgley. Also, ride that

rhino, a video, I assume both of us watched. Yeah, yeah, I'd also swing on that fly and I was like, yeah, on

specialist websites. You've absolutely watched that. How you doing, my love? Very well. Hot. So fucking hot. The sun has come out. Oh my gosh. We're recording this on if you're in the UK, those days when it was fucking hot. If you're not in the UK, we had like two days were it hit 28 degrees, which for our American listeners is 3,000 degrees Fahrenheit.

We're not children off the heat.

You're from the time when Fahrenheit was around. What's it in?

How dare you? In Roman days, we had a Sam God called Mercury.

Do you know, can you do Fahrenheit at all? Is it double? No. I can't do it, but also not all parts of America has it, which is ridiculous. Oh, that's ridiculous. Yeah. They also, they, they do pounds but not stone. Is that right? That's right. Stop being, like, stop being. Stop sitting on the fence, America. Just like a stitch pick. Make up your mind. Lean into the loveliness of a... Because, yeah, I get it. A pound. Fine. I love a pound. I love to talk in pounds. But I don't want to sound like a wrestler. Weighing in a 289 pounds. It's Dane's left arm. You know what I mean? Like, no. And also embrace the sort of like Harry Potter-esque nuts. Yeah. Blubba-blubber galleons, all of that shit where it's like 12 of these make a this and 14 pounds make a stone. And you sound less. Lovely. I am just 15 stone. And a stone could be a very small, beautiful thing. Diamond. But 12 bits of amethystyst. That's all I am. A name!

We had a gorgeous message from a deviled egg. Can I read it here? Yeah, go on. I love it when a deviled egg sends us a gorgeous message. Oh, I just sipped the drink before I did introduce that. I just seen you. Sipping that drink. And now you're going to cheat and work out what the ingredients are whilst I speak. I can't know why you read the slatter. Christmas spice, Christmas spice.

Darlings! I love the podcast. I was recently on a train from Basel to Berlin. Where's Basil? I love that you said Berlin. Berlin. Berlin. Berlin. Berlin. He's a love,

he's a brother of Merlin, I believe. Where is Basil? Basil.

Where is she?

I think it's just outside the M-25.

I don't know.

Is it Germany still?

I don't know.

We'll find out.

Unfortunately, my train was played with heterosexual football fans.

In order to block out their in excessent toxic masculine dribble, which is exactly the same in Swiss German and English, annoying as fuck.

Okay, Swiss German.

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