Welcome to the Total Soccer Show.

This is The Weekend Review.

My name is Ryan Bailey, and today we're looking back at a memorable weekend of soccer, full of drama.

Joining me to do so is the podcast equivalent of a goalkeeper scoring a 95th minute winning header.

It's Taylor Rockwell.

Hello, I'll take that. I'll take

the excitement, the electrifying enthusiasm and the beardedness all at once. Oh, you have all of those columns, Tick Taita. I've just realized that. Can you give an emotional... Just not the physical fitness. When we're done, can you give an emotional interview about how this podcast went as well? I really like to see that.

I can't.

Can I do it in this sort of out of breath emotional way where like you're waiting for them to finish it and they kind of ramble on and then have to catch their breath? That is kind of my style anyway. So yeah, I think I could do that. Excellent. Consider it done. Podcast extra coming up. Joining Taylor Knight is a man whose analysis is more on target than a Yuri Telemann's rocket shot.

It's Graham Rudvin.

Hello, Ryan. How are you?

And much like Yuri Tealeman's rocket shot, my analysis comes from a blundering mistake made by the opposition

and poor pressing by an Italian central midfielder.

So how are you? You're going to take your victories where you can get them, Graham. Take them where you can get them, is what I say. I'm very well, Graham. Thank you so much for asking. I have had a mixed weekend, though. I ripped my favourite jeans on Saturday, which was unfortunate. I kind of injured my Achilles while I was running on Saturday morning, which was a shame. but hey, Chelsea lost two cup finals this weekend. So not all's bad. That's what I said. Were you running in the jeans? Is that how you ripped them? Was I not supposed to run in the jeans? Maybe that was it. There's nothing more suspicious than someone in the gym in jeans. I don't know if you ever come across people who wear jeans to the gym,

but I'm always like, what is your ulterior motive here?

What activity are they doing in jeans, Graham?

Just on the treadmill, on the rowing machine.

Do you ever come across people like that who are wearing jeans in the gym?

That's quite a common occurrence in my gym. Really? Yeah. Scotland, get it together. Also, no, I think there's an always sunny episode where Dee wears jeans to the gym, and it's a whole like, I'm not seeing a lot of jeans. I've never seen jeans in a gym. So, Graham, I think that you're just maybe in a very strange, strange area

where people make strange decisions. That'll do it. That'll do it as well. If only they made some

sort of warm-up material that you could wear when it was cold outside. Yeah. In my gym, the gym I used to

go to before COVID, there was an older gentleman who always used to come and like walk

...