Is Lazlo single-handedly responsible for making Kansas City the worst in the country for dating? According to the authors of this recent article, yes. *Why is Slimfast reading about how to survive a nuclear blast, when he should be reading about how to survive normal adulthood? *A woman got so drunk at a Marilyn Manson concert that she blew up a neighborhood block on her way home. She's now filed a lawsuit against the concert venue for overserving her. *Doomscrolling!! Tik Tok is now being banned on college campuses. Jeremy Renner's 911 call has been released. A missing woman's husband spent $450 at Home Depot on cleaning products and a hacksaw. A man suspected of trying to kidnap a barista by pulling her through the drive-thru window has been arrested. *Nick Wright is on the phone! He's here to gloat about a prediction coming true and his love for that human shampoo-commercial quarterback. * A small village in Alaska was visited by a hungry polar bear but Lazlo thinks that injuries could have been avoided if someone would have just picked up a stick. *Snowcone's got something for us today. We learn about the Cigar Caucus in DC and argue about whether or not Biden should be sending out free crack pipes. *Thanks for listening to the podcast! You can watch us record these shows live every weekday at www.twitch.tv/churchoflazlo We have a website we'd love you to check out, www.lazlo.church and a subreddit, www.reddit.com/r/churchoflazlo Have a great day!

-Everybody Wang Chung!!!