On this episode of Narcissist Apocalypse Q&A, we Brandon Chadwick, and today we will be discussing weaponized incompetence.

Before we get to weaponized incompetence, if you want to join our newsletter, we have a really

informative newsletter. And with our newsletter, you get a downloadable workbook from our

Survivor's Story episode that occurs that week.

So go to our website at Narcissistapocalypse.com to join that newsletter.

And today, everything involving weaponized incompetence, hopefully this little episode

will be useful to everyone and why this matters to survivors. And this comes up in our survivor stories

a lot, even though people do not have the language for it at first. They're trying to figure out

what is going on. And many survivors describe feeling like they're doing everything in the relationship,

managing the house, managing the kids, managing the finances, schedules, emotions, emotional

labor.

And when they ask their partner to help, they hear things like, I tried, but I messed

it up.

Or you're just better at that stuff.

Or I don't know how to do it right.

And eventually it just feels like it's easier for you to just take over.

And over time, taking over of these things turns into exhaustion, and we've heard it so many times

in our Survivor Story episodes. And a lot of people don't realize that the name for this thing

that the abuser is doing is called weaponized incompetence. And it is used in controlling relationships, abusive relationships, and so what is

weaponized incompetence? And weaponized incompetence is when someone pretends they can't do a task or

consistently does it poorly so that the responsibility shifts to their partner.

And it could look like confusion or forgetting or doing things halfway, messing things up.

...