Most expensive has cows.

Why are you wearing gloves?

It's red wine, brother.

I got drunk thinking about it.

BMW hood on.

Dog cement needs your help.

Okay, it turns out lathering wet cement on your dog is neither safe nor legal.

I thought this was America. If I want to turn my dog into a dog-shaped concrete block,

that is my constitutional right. Well, I agree it should be, it's not. And now we're in

trouble. Look at this. Have you or someone you know been impacted by the dog cement scam?

You may be entitled to financial compensation.

Call now at 1-800, Richard Richard.

I don't even think he's a real lawyer, but still, we're millions in the hole and what's

worse, we're no longer able to sell dog-safe cement to our customers who need to cement their dogs.

Please, let me cement my dog. He keeps running around the place and eating street trash.

Dog cement is the only thing that keeps him in place. You see, we're helping people.

I don't exactly know why I cemented my dog, but I'm a sucker for advertising, so I did it.

And now, he just kind of sits there. I don't like it, to be honest. How is this even legal?

Whoops, how'd that get in there?

So what can we do? How can we save dog cement?

I'm so glad you asked. You can support our legal defense with the new dog cement t-shirt

available for three days only. most of the funds will be used

...