Oh, hey, that beautiful people. It is I, your favorite host from Phantai, Trayvail Anderson.

You are about to get a sneak peek, little teaser listen of some Phantai bonus content in

which I give Phantai listeners an early reading from my book. We see each other a black

trans journey through TV and film out May 9th available for pre-order right now, where

you get to lay worthy books, along with a Q&A from your other fav, Jared. As of right

now, the only people who will have heard this authoress read from my book are Maximum

Fun Members, Members and Family Members of the Phantai Fam. You can become one of those

members, one of those Phantai Fam members for just $5 a month by going to MaximumFun.org

I don't remember exactly when I was taught to hate myself. Maybe it was overhearing

family members talk disparagingly about women who, quote, looked like men and guys who, quote,

want to be a woman, their gender ignorance and latent homophobia and transphobia becoming

mine. Maybe it was in middle school when for Chris Cross day, some of the other, quote,

unquote, boys and I wore dresses and wigs instead of simply wearing our clothes backward

like everyone else. We thought we were so clever and we were. I also wore a two inch

heel. I had borrowed from my mom's closet, a factual learn, a factual first learn about

while reading this book. My classmates were shocked and entertained and seemed to have

whatever confirmation they were waiting for that I was gay, though I never responded

to their prodding. Or maybe it was earlier like an elementary school when an uncle punched

me in the chest as punishment for standing with a limp wrist one too many times. It stole

the wind and the joy out of me. I look back on these moments now, remembering them as

violent or ridiculous or both, but these lessons on how to be were more often than not

how not to be, whereas casual in every day as brushing my teeth. It was ordinary to

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