"We love each other, but our sex life is non-existent": Intimacy, betrayal & secrecy in relationships
Dial Emma
Emma Reed Turrell
4.8 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 1 September 2025
⏱️ 27 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Welcome back to Dial Emma! Each week, I'll be answering your dilemmas with honesty, empathy, and a few therapeutic truth bombs to help you make sense of life's stickiest moments. If you've ever wished you had a therapist in your back pocket, Dial Emma is here to help.
This week, I'm answering two dilemmas about intimacy, connection and betrayal. One listener writes about being blindsided after finding her partner's hidden Viagra pills and porn subscriptions; another wants to know whether love can be enough in a relationship, when sex is almost entirely absent.
In this episode, I explore shame, secrecy, desire, and the courage it takes to talk openly about what we really need in relationship. Whether you’re grappling with similar questions yourself or simply listening in, this episode is a reminder that intimacy is about much more than sex—and that honesty, vulnerability, and communication are the real bridges to closeness.
If you have a dilemma for Emma, please fill out this form.
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Dial Emma is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Lauren Brook.
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Social media:
Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell
Dial Emma @dialemmapodcast
Email: [email protected]
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This podcast is sponsored by British Airways and Tobago. |
| 0:05.2 | The British Airways Experience is more than a flight. |
| 0:08.4 | It's about making every single journey as original as you are. |
| 0:14.1 | Hello and welcome to Dial Emma, the podcast where your dilemmas meet my therapeutic insights. |
| 0:20.8 | I'm Emma Reed-Torrell, psychotherapist, Author, and Well-Recovering People Pleaser. |
| 0:25.4 | Each week, I'll be unpacking real-life questions from listeners just like you. |
| 0:30.0 | The big ones, the small ones, the ones that keep you up at night, |
| 0:33.5 | offering practical tools and gentle truths to help you find your way through. |
| 0:38.3 | So if you've got a question, you don't know how to ask out loud. |
| 0:41.8 | You've come to the right place. |
| 0:51.2 | My partner takes Viagra and watches porn when I'm out. |
| 0:56.7 | Is that a betrayal? |
| 0:59.0 | Dear Emma, I've been married for nearly 10 years and while we've had our ups and downs, |
| 1:03.9 | I thought we had a solid trusting relationship. |
| 1:07.1 | A few weeks ago, I came home unexpectedly in the middle of the day |
| 1:10.6 | and found packaging from Viagra |
| 1:12.5 | tablets in the bathroom bin. Later when I checked his phone, something I've never done before, |
| 1:19.5 | I saw recent charges for porn subscriptions. I don't know why, but my stomach dropped. |
| 1:33.9 | We haven't had sex as often lately, but we still connect, we still kiss, we still talk about our days. |
| 1:43.7 | I can't work out if this is simply him managing his own sexual health privately, or if it's a symptom of something missing between us. |
| 1:47.2 | He hasn't told me about the Viagra, |
| 1:49.7 | and I can't stop wondering why. |
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