We get around correctness by means of comedy

Garrison Keillor's Podcast

Prairie Home Productions

Society & Culture, Fiction, Comedy Fiction, Improv, Comedy

4.8 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 19 August 2023

⏱️ 7 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

I feel that opera should be inclusive and tell the stories of ordinary people and not just European aristocracy and so I am sketching an opera in which the soprano is furious at the tenor and showing him the proper way to clean a bathroom — “Apri gli occhi, guarda dietro le cose” (Open your eyes, look behind things) — and to calm her he proclaims his love for her — “Farò di tutto per renderti felice” (I will do anything to make you happy) — and as he does his pantaloons start to slide and she points at them but in his passion he doesn’t notice and the pants fall to the floor. I was wearing underwear when my pants fell but I leave it to the director to decide. The tenor’s back is to the audience and personally I think opera could use a pair of what the Italians would call “glutei nudi.”Garrison KeillorJason Keillor, EngineerJason Keillor, Original Music

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Transcript

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0:00.0	I am an American, and the bacon cheeseburger with onion rings is my source of sustenance.
0:16.1	Just as I prefer baseball to soccer or a republic to a monarchy, my sweetie serves me locally
0:24.8	source non-GMO tofu with artisanal pharo, which I regard as cattle feed, but I eat it, knowing
0:33.4	that she is right, and it is good for me.
0:37.6	Wives tend to be right about 87% of the time, and this high incidence of correctness can
0:45.2	be hard to get used to.
0:46.6	A man may start to feel that marriage is a correctional institution.
0:52.9	I put on a suit the other morning, and she said, you can't wear that.
0:56.2	People will wonder how can his wife let him go around looking like that.
1:00.9	She said the pants were not the same shade of black as the jacket.
1:05.5	I couldn't see it.
1:07.4	I guess I'm so occupied with the environment and economic justice that I don't have time
1:14.8	to worry about matching colors, but I put on a different suit.
1:20.0	I don't want to be a public spectacle unless people are buying tickets to see it.
1:27.3	I love this woman.
1:29.0	I'll do anything to make her happy, anything.
1:33.0	I was making my breakfast a couple days ago, and she looked at me, and she said, you jeans
1:39.6	are falling down.
1:41.5	I was cracking eggs into a saucepan.
1:45.2	She said it again.
1:47.5	And I had an inspiration, and I ignored her, and scrambled the eggs as my pants descended.
1:57.7	What are you doing?
	...

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