We didn't start the fire & other tales

Simon Mayo's Confessions

Bauer Media

Comedy

5 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 29 March 2024

⏱️ 52 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

A septic ploppy run, an accidental country invasion, a stinky fish prank and church entertainment all feature this week.

There’s more bonus confessions from the producer’s file marked ‘Not for broadcast’, including one from bus driver Jerry.

Plus, we delve deep into the crypt for a classic confession with a very BIG twist we called You can Keep the Costa Brava and All That Palava - I'm off to Margate.

Send your confessions and notes for the Parish Notice Board to [email protected]

Transcript

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0:00.0	How exciting is it to play the British Heart Foundation's weekly flutter?
0:03.7	Kachin! Exciting enough to get your heart racing, just a little bit.
0:09.5	Like texting a mate, the same time they text you.
0:13.0	Like flipping pancakes with majestic grace,
0:16.0	or spotting that last parking space.
0:19.0	Yes!
0:20.0	With the added joy of knowing the money you donate
0:22.0	helps to fund life-saving research.
0:25.0	One pound to play, a thousand pounds to win every week.
0:28.0	Search British Heart Foundation weekly lottery.
0:31.0	See, it's a little bit exciting.
0:33.0	Gamble responsibly, over 18s only, T's and C's apply.
0:36.0	Please see our website for more details.
0:38.0	British Heart Foundation is a registered charity.
0:40.0	Get set Britain.
0:42.0	Barclays is serving up an ace in your local park.
0:45.0	We've teamed up with the LTA to bring you free tennis sessions
0:48.0	because we believe tennis is for everyone.
0:52.0	So this weekend, you could be playing tennis absolutely free.
0:55.6	Anyone can play with access to courts, coaching and equipment provided. There are
1:01.0	sessions all over the country.
1:02.6	Search Barclays Free Park Tennis to register and sign up.
	...

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