Hi, you're listening to Small Things Often from the Gottman Institute, where we talk you through

research-based tips to help improve your relationships in five minutes or less.

Today's tip is about ways to keep your relationship healthy and strong as new parents or caregivers.

Whether you and your partner are thrilled to have just welcomed a

gorgeous new baby into the world, or you've just begun to take care of someone, like a parent or

sibling who needs your help. Be aware that your life has just changed, big time. And so did the

dynamics of how you interact with each other. The thing is, even the best relationships will

experience extra stress during these times. So how you maneuver through the new normal together

will make all the difference in the world in keeping your relationship strong and healthy.

So let's get right to it. Here's four ways to keep your relationship on track when you become a new parent or caregiver.

First, watch your words.

With so many changes in the household, your stress level is probably totally off the charts.

Plus, the exhaustion of staying up with a new baby or continually trying to ease the anxiety of an elderly person

can sometimes make you incredibly irritable with a very short fuse. So be mindful of speaking

gently to your partner so they don't feel attacked or go on the defensive. For instance,

if they forget to empty the baby's diaper bin, try not to snap at them with,

do I have to do everything around here? Instead, speak calmly and gently, and say,

honey, when you have a minute, could you help me out and empty the diaper bin? Remember, you're both

adjusting to the new normal, and a gentle approach will help you turn

toward each other instead of a way. Also, with so much on your plates each day, don't hesitate

to give your partner a pat on the back for anything they do that's helpful. If you notice

they've done something kind, don't just think it. Say it out loud. Like, thanks so much for going grocery shopping. Or, you have no idea how much you helped by taking my mom to her doctor's appointment today. Be each other's cheerleaders, no matter how small the task. Express your fondness and admiration and watch how your partner responds. Next,

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