Waving the White Flag Against Violent Communication - A Waking Up to Narcissism Crossover Episode

The Virtual Couch

Tony Overbay LMFT

Education, Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

5 • 643 Ratings

🗓️ 16 November 2022

⏱️ 54 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Thanks for a slight error in uploading the correct file on Tony's "Waking Up to Narcissism" podcast; he shares the correct episode as a "crossover" on The Virtual Couch. Tony adds "The Mailbox Metaphor," a powerful Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) metaphor about how we decide to look at the "clutter" of our virtual, physical, or mental inboxes. Can communication be a form of violence? According to communication expert Marshall Rosenberg, it can if you consider "violence" to include attempts at cutting others down to size and/or coercing them into doing what we want. Tony discusses "Nonviolent Communication," and the importance of separating an observation from a judgment, something narcissists or highly emotionally immature people struggle to do to manage their own anxiety.Tony references Pamela Hobart's review of Marshall Rosenberg's book Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life https://fourminutebooks.com/nonviolent-communication-summary/ (https://fourminutebooks.com/nonviolent-communication-summary/)If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him (https://publish.blubrry.com/s-505600/episodes/e-89726073/edit/[email protected]) for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and remain anonymous when the episode airs. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop (http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop) to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com (http://tonyoverbay.com/) and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ (https://descript.com/?lmref=bSWcEQ)

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, oh, oh, come on and take a seat on the virtual couch.
0:21.9	Hey, everybody.
0:22.8	Welcome to episode 347 of the virtual couch.
0:26.7	It is an early Monday morning, the 14th of November, and I am at my office.
0:31.3	And this is one of my absolute favorite times of the week, because I am typically coming
0:35.4	off of a weekend.
0:36.6	So hopefully it has been a good weekend.. So hopefully it has been a good weekend.
0:38.7	And actually, it has been a good weekend. It has been a weekend full of the usual ups and downs.
0:43.1	But to quote some concepts a few episodes back about what it feels like to be me, thanks to my
0:48.2	implicit memory, I'm not ignoring any hiccups or bumps in the road over the last few days.
0:53.1	But I am bringing awareness to the things of value and we're going to move forward this week and continue to do and be
0:58.3	and take action on all the things that matter and not ruminate and sit and worry and look for
1:03.0	certainty, but I am definitely digressing. So I'm sitting here and I get emails that are popping
1:08.9	up and when I see one, I give it a glance and often
1:11.9	it takes me out of the present, maybe out of the zone. And yes, I could close my mail program and at
1:17.0	times I do. But this morning, I have realized how often I move over and I glance at an email and
1:23.1	then I delete it or I forward it or one or two this morning I have made the bold move if I feel safe
1:28.3	enough doing so to unsubscribe from something once and for all. And by making that bold move,
1:33.0	and I think many of you might have this similar feeling, I simply mean that of course I worry
1:37.8	that one time my unsubscribing will then signal to the entire world that I'm a real human
1:43.1	being and then the floodgates
1:44.4	of emails will just open, and I will be virtually buried. But the entire experience of going
	...

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