Music

Hey everyone, welcome back to Teenage It Therapy. I'm Gayao, I'm Tongas. I'm Kayla.

And welcome back to another episode of The Podcast. And it seems like every recent episode we've done has taken place in a different location.

I think the last three episodes have all been in a different... first it was our first Airbnb, then it was at the Creative Studio that we were at, and now it's at our second Airbnb.

We're just traveling so much.

And this is the best location yet. This is a huge attraction.

This living room is, yeah. We are really lucky with our second Airbnb.

If you don't know where in New York, if you haven't said it enough for the summer, and it has came with a lot of...

It has given us a lot to think about nonetheless. For me, this is the farthest and the longest that I've been away from home ever really.

And I remember that first month. I was like, I don't know if I'll get homesick. I think I'll be happy. I'm gonna be so fine.

I'm like, I don't know. I kind of tend to forget about home when I'm not directly near it. And so I thought everything was gonna be fine and dandy.

So far that first month, it was. It was nothing wrong. I was like, I'm good. Like I do miss my family, but I'm surviving. You know, I'm doing good. I'm happy where I'm at.

And then a couple days ago, I just woke up. And the first thing I did was go on my phone. And I don't do that.

And I have noticed every time that I go on my phone and I can't get off of it when I wake up, it's gonna be a bad day.

And so I noticed that I was on my phone and I didn't have an urge to get up. And I was like, oh fuck, something's wrong.

And long story short, that entire day, I just got hit with this overwhelming wave of sadness, longing. And eventually what I think was just homesickness.

I like, I ate breakfast. I did my usual routine and then I tried to do some work. And work just felt overwhelming. I felt so lost. I didn't know what I was supposed to do next.

It was one of those moments where you just feel so discouraged. You lose all your self confidence. You feel like you can't do anything that you want to do.

And so that made me feel like shit. And I just felt these deep feelings, just feeling like I wanted to cry and express this somehow.

And I was like, oh my god, what is this happening? What am I even feeling? I don't know. It's like that whole day I just, my mind was filled with so much self doubt of feeling like everything I was doing was worthless.

Nothing I was doing was right or was going to work and I should just stop everything. And then I was like, maybe I should just relax for a little bit and I'll feel better.

So I close my computer. I go lay on the couch and it just gets worse. It just gets worse. Now I'm just thinking about the people in my life that I love that are no longer in my life.

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