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On Pilot TV this week, we're teaching Cartesian philosophy to an audience currently residing at his majesty's pleasure in waiting for the out on BBC One, mixing old flames and dead bodies in his and hers on Netflix and digging up some very, very, very, very long buried evidence.

In the 29th series of Silent Witness on BBC, we're nothing, if not late, to the party.

I'm James Dyer, and welcome to Pilot TV, your essential guide to every show that matters,

and a podcast that is, yes, going full retro this week.

I'm filling in some of the gaps in our recent coverage.

Now, clearly, clearly, this is all about us being very conscientious and wanting to do right by you, the audience. And not at all because there is absolutely fuck all on television this week. But look, but look, you know. Well, no, there is fuck all on television, but it's just that it's embargoed fuck all. I mean, There there's also literally fuck all. And it's not a great week. But there is stuff, honestly, we could have easily done stuff, but it is embargoes. Can we though? Yes, I'll be explaining that in any minute now. I've just told you there are good shows. Well, there's one show at the very end of the week. Two. One show.

Anyway,

oh my God, James' anti-ITV prejudice is absolutely furious. I don't know what you're talking about, Boyd. That is slander. What is it? What is it about the I TV thing? I've been to ITV. I was invited into their building. I went to their office and interviewed Sanjee Pascar and no one tried to kill me at all, not even once.

They're just being nice, yeah. Do you think? Do you think it was a warning? Listen, some of the greatest dramas in TV history have been on ITV, as you know, you yourself, Cracker. True. Love it. Crime suspect. Yeah. Hillsborough. Yep. It's just off the top of my head.

Unforgotten.

Ungoingly, brilliant, unforgotten. So it's just insanely annoying that you have this. You're right. They do genuinely have fantastic stuff. I'm just saying they're hit-to-miss ratio. It's maybe not where it could be. I don't know if even that's true anymore. Hold on a minute.

...