Yes! I just can't believe!

This Christmas, you could be a millionaire.

Get your lotto ticket for tonight's draw.

The National Lottery. Rules and procedures apply. Players must be 18 or over.

Are you sitting comfortably?

Or your earphone securely fastened to your head?

Well then, sit down. Buckle up and prepare yourself. Once a month, the

guys at the Hawking Cleaver head office meet up and hold a secret storytelling ritual.

They practice their lunging, trade Pokemon cards, swallow an entire digestive biscuit in one,

and sacrifice the neighbor's cup of tea.

From the shiny's left over, the aches in their groins and the tea stain on the neighbor's kitchen floor of theme emerges.

This month's theme...

Contagion.

So get ready.

These aren't the stories your mother used to tell you. No, these are the other stories.

Hello and welcome back to the other stories. This is another volume opener. We do it once a month. We give you news, give you updates, keep you in the

loop of everything that's happening. And today, we actually have some free stuff to give you as well.

So stick around to the end of the show. I'm going to give some free stuff away. But first,

we have to introduce the new feed. Well, we wave goodbye to the theme that's just happened. That was

video games.

There's a lovely little frolic in the digital space, whatever. But this Mump's theme is

contagion. So, you know, expect viruses, colds, maybe a flu or two, something bigger, perhaps.

...