So, Umerto, let's read emails that people have sent to you and me, patrons have sent us emails,

and let's try to answer them in a way that is satisfying to both them, us, and the listeners.

What do you say?

That's always a good plan.

This is the Psychology and Seattle podcast.

I'm your host, Dr. Kirk Honda.

I'm a therapist and a professor.

My name is Umberto Kastagnignia and I develop inkless pens.

So anonymous patron here says, I have a question, I have a broad question to ask.

It's about virginity.

Whoa.

I lost my virginity pretty late in life at 26. And for a good

percentage of my early 20s I hated myself for being a virgin. I felt gross

ugly and awkward. I put women on a pedestal and I felt

completely undesirably undesirable sexually. A lot of this had to do with the fact that I would obsessively Google things like the effects of being a virgin late in life.

And I would read articles by psychologists and sex therapists who would argue things like the following.

Women can't trust male virgins because men are expected to lead.

The longer you remain a virgin, the more likely you're going to have sexual problems when you finally do have sex

Your lack of sex life is evidence that you're that you aren't a good person

Jordan Peterson argues this on the Joe Rogan podcast.

When I read these things it crushed me because psychologists with

doctor in front of their name were confirming my horrible beliefs.

...