Hello and welcome to citation needed.

The podcast where we choose a subject, read a single article about it on Wikipedia,

and pretend we're experts because this is the internet.

And that's how it works now.

I'm Eli Bosnick and I'll be leading the expedition tonight,

but I'll need a group of sarcophagi's to join me.

First up, it gets better. Hey, hey, no, no, don't change that.

It wasn't bad. It wasn't bad. Oh, seven listeners, goodbye forever.

It wasn't bad. Just do the fucking intro.

First up, two men who were eating your mummy before it was cool, Noah and Cecil.

And when you see her, tell her, I said, no, no, thank you.

Why, yes, dear, I am slicing carrots into the jacuzzi.

Why do you ask?

And also joining us tonight, two men with skin so chalky, a Victorian orphan would give them a dram of sugar, Heath and Tyler. Okay. I prefer the term alabaster, Eli, and I will still have the sugar, though. Thank you. Sure. Thank you. All dram. I'm doing keto. Before we begin tonight. Canonically, apparently. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Canon, yeah. Keitho. Before we begin tonight, I'd like to take a moment to thank our patrons. Patrons. Just thank the fucking hatred. Everyone on this podcast is into weird stuff. Cecil likes swords. Noah likes old Nintendo's. Geith likes living in a different house than his wife, and none of us. None of us could indulge in these perversions if it weren't for you. So, try not to think about what I'm into and be sure to stick around to the end of the show to find out how to contribute. And with that out of the way, tell us, Noah, what person, place, thing, concept, phenomenon, or event will we be talking about today?

Well, as if you're not hungry enough already, today we're going to talk about eating mummies.

And Tom, you unwrapped this mystery. Are you ready to give us a taste?

I've got my fava beans all warmed up and ready to go.

So tell us, Tom. What?

How we...

You're doing a Hannibal Lecter.

Yeah, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

...