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The future is open. Good evening.

My sobriety is under question, but not in the way you think.

This is a joviality test.

I do this before each program to test my spirits. I seem to have passed with flying colours.

Once again, I wish to welcome you to Alfred Hitchcock Presents.

For another half hour of group therapy, I'm told there is nothing like a good

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And before I directly address them, let me explain how advertising works on our show.

For many years, it didn't. And we made the show out a loss. Really? I mean, we kept the lights on, but no one was rolling in dough. Now that we're

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