5 • 12.6K Ratings
🗓️ 11 September 2025
⏱️ 23 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
In 2004 Universal attempted the impossible, recreate the success of The Mummy reboot from 1999 using the classic monsters of old. At it turns out that was impossible and would continue to be so until The Invisible Man in 2020. Over the next four weeks we're going to take a look at a series of movies that each tried to start their own Dark Universe incorporating classic movie monsters. This week it's Van Helsing starring Hugh Jackman and Kate Beckinsale which pits Gabriel Van Hesling against a really bizarre version of Dracula. Thanks for watching our Caravan Of Garbage review
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| 0:00.0 | Autumn, when the colours change and the breeze is fresher. |
| 0:04.1 | A time to take stock and start some new autumn rituals, like cosying up with your Fave |
| 0:09.1 | podcasts. |
| 0:10.5 | Whilst you immerse yourself, compliment your me time with Costa Coffee's Maple Hazel range. |
| 0:16.4 | Enjoy a silky latte, a refreshing iced latte, or luxurious hot chocolate. |
| 0:21.5 | It's the taste of autumn in a cup. |
| 0:23.8 | Head to your nearest Costa coffee store or Costa Express Machine to pick up a maple hazel drink |
| 0:28.7 | while stocks last. |
| 0:32.4 | Welcome back everybody to another episode of Caravanna Garbage, where the Dark Universe |
| 0:36.6 | is always happening whether we like it or not. Confound it. Confound it. Oh, the Dark Universe also got your voice this week, didn't it? Yeah, I'm a little under the weather, folks, and I'm very committed to just powering through this, so if you don't like it, you're going to have to bloody lump it. Although, in a way, James, I wish we were still covering the Percy Jackson and the Olympians franchise, because much like Pierce Brosnan and Anthony Stewart Head, I am a little horse. Whoa, here we go. We're back, folks. He was a regular horse though. He wasn't a little horse. Well, I'm a little horse. You know what I mean? Ben and Lawrence, can we... Oh my God, now I'm a little horse. Now you've got it. Ben and Lawrence, we need to turn Mason into a little horse, obviously. But make it anamorph into a little horse. Yeah, that would be if you get... Just the most difficult thing you could possibly do. But James, in a way, I'm also prepared for this video. Oh yeah. Because I've spent this week doing a lot |
| 1:29.2 | of coffin. He's back, folks. You haven't coughed at all? No. I don't think you have been coughing. |
| 1:35.8 | No, that doesn't really work. No, neither of these jokes really work, but that's okay. Please leave a |
| 1:40.0 | like. Sometimes entire movies don't really work. Well, entire franchises, they keep trying to restart. Because that's the point of this, Mason. We're looking at four different universal monster movies that attempted to start their own franchise. Now, is that what Van Helsing attempted to do? Oh, yeah, Mason. This was basically an attempt to do The Mummy again, but with Dracula's and Frankensteins and etc. Yeah, I know what you're saying there, but what I'm saying is, because this is the era before |
| 2:06.1 | like everybody trying to make a franchise. Are you saying this was the first? No, this was supposed |
| 2:10.7 | to be a franchise and we'll get into it. But look, I'm almost all about this movie, but really, |
| 2:15.7 | it's just swinging on ropes and crashing through windows. |
| 2:18.6 | And CGI big, big wolves and stuff. Big wolves, Mason. I remember when I was a kid. And when I say a kid, I meant an adult. I was an adult when this came out. Sure. The first and last time I saw this was when it came out at the cinemas. With me. Yes. And I remember a conversation we had was |
| 2:33.8 | This movie isn't very good |
| 2:35.6 | Because this was the era |
| 2:36.7 | We were just realizing that movies could be bad. Yeah. We said, this movie isn't very good. But how incredible and incredibly accurate was that homage to old school black and white horror movies at the start? Oh, up top. And now, having rewatched it, no, it's not. It's not at all. |
| 2:51.1 | It's just in black and white. |
| 2:52.7 | It's just black and white. |
... |
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