Lara and Carey discuss their legendary episode of The Ultimate Spend, Carey’s inner auctioneer, even newer Summer House reunion audio leaks, a terrifying development in West’s personal life, the unfortunate truth about dumb dick and how not even someone as formidable as Ciara is immune. Plus the real “Emily” from Devil Wears Prada breaks her silence and why Widow’s Bay is serving.

Back on The Valley, Larz and Carz brave the urge to jump ship after being torpedoed by the boringness of this show, but choose to go sink with the boat as all good captains must do. Hetero Hell is truly errands in The Valley. Michelle reveals her past as a gymnast and some sad things about her dad; Doute, Zack and Britt get waxed and bronzed in anticipation of their California Board of Tourism-sanctioned trip to San Diego. Lala checks in on Janet’s mental health at pilates, as nearly the entire group is currently in Rindom Psychosis about Mrs. Caperna. Lacy reveals her doomsday bunker without disclosing its location, Janet hosts a game night at a barcade with Ms. Lips, and Brittany invites the crew over for another cursed pool party at her place. Danny revels in Reign of Terror campaign against Jinet, who tries to mend things with Zack, who tries to mediate Luke about Doute, who then smokes a magnanimous bowl with Jinet, part of her diabolical plan to regain control over this snooze fest of a group.

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